"The Night I Threatened To Throw My Sick Mother Overboard"

This blog may read like a  novella and I will try just to highlight the important stuff.  I feel like I have shared all about my vacation and I cannot leave out the last part of the trip at this point. We had some amazing experiences along the way, and it is a vacation I will never forget...and I know I will never forget the morning we were scheduled to get off the ship in Miami.. so here we go...it is always an adventure with us......

.....last post I left off with us porting out of St. Marteen.......

....the seas were rough coming back...like 12-15ft waves rough.....

....walking around the ship felt like you had drank numerous martini's....

....mom was down again...as we learned earlier her tummy could not deal with rough waters.....

.....me....this is how I dealt with rough waters......

......I sat by the pool and had pool boys bring me iced towels.....

Anyways, the captain redirected our course and put us close to land. Can I say I felt guilty as I passed countries such as Haiti and Cuba as I devoured my fourth meal of the day and wondered where my pool boy went so I could get a fresh bottle of water. 

The waves calmed down and by Friday mom felt better and was able to enjoy her last day on the ship...

But......it all went to hell Saturday around 12am......

 I woke up around midnight to my mother...she was ill......I knew it could not be sea sickness because the water was  calm.....

She was sick......you know that kind of sick...that sick where you just want to crawl in a hole and die....the kind of sick that you begin to wonder what more can come out your body sick.

The problem is we were in a 200 square foot room with 4 people....we all were basically experiencing this with mom.... I love my mom, and we all react to being sick in our own ways, and my moms  way is very vocal and very  pronounced.......it was a VERY long night......

By 5 am I had basically been awake for almost 24 hours and I knew at this point we were getting close to Miami and I knew I was not headed home...mom was not making it on a plane...and I was not going home today.....I was grumpy, and mom stated to me, " she was not sure what we were going to do with her".......know keep in mind... I was really tired, I was the one sharing the bed with my mom, I had witnessed horrific amounts of bodily fluids, heard a lot of vocal discomfort coming from my mom all night, I was now worried about myself getting sick, and I was not headed home to my family......I may or may have not responded by saying,

"Oh...I know what I want to do with you!"

...so basically I threatened to throw my sick mother overboard....hmmmmm......my mother may want to rethink who she wants with her when she is on her death bed....I promise, I am much more patient when I am not tired and cranky.....I was not of sound mind at that moment...

So 7am that morning in Miami we had to figure out a plan...mom needed medical care, she needed to go to a hospital.....Gabby had to get home....Leana had a Dr appointment at home to get back to...that left me to take care of mom.....Problem.....I could not take care of customs, luggage, lodging, and hospital with a sick person in tow. Leana had to stay with me, I could not do it without her. I think Leana could see the desperation in my eye's, I needed my big sister, I needed help! She stayed, she knew it was going to take two of us.....I am so thankful she stayed!

We got mom out of bed, she was in just her robe at this point.....we put her in a wheelchair and wheeled her down to the infirmary where the Dr. could tend to her until we could figure out how to get her to a hospital.

So we realize there is a few other people with the same sickness in the infirmary....then it sinks in....the dreaded virus.....NOROVIRUS...that highly contagious virus that spreads like wildfire...is that what was happening here?

We had our naked, vulnerable, passed out mother in a bed hooked up to an IV in the infirmary........

...and then the whole experience...the situation...the stress of the moment hits my sister and I...and we begin dealing with it the only way we know how to deal with it....

We begin to laugh...we begin to be the cynical daughters that we are so good at being...

We laughed about the fact that Gabby had gotten the hell off the ship and away from the whole norovirus infestation ......we laughed about the fact that were a ticking  time bomb of possible norovirus....we laughed about the horrid condition that we had to leave the room in......we laughed about the fact we were stuck in Miami and not sure what we were doing next.....we laughed about the fact I threatened to throw our mother overboard and some point in the night.....At this point even the nurse was throwing a joke here and there in to the mix....

We were laughing so much that the Dr came in repeatedly..he was fascinated by us...why were we laughing when our mother was passed out naked in a bed by us....we tried to explain how we deal with stress, and at this point this is was all we had left in us.....and that my poor mother would expect nothing less from us....Dr. Cuba (we nicknamed him this because he was from Cuba)...looked at us finally and pointed two fingers at us and stated in his Cuban accent

"You just keep laughing girls, you will get it too!" ...he was speaking of the possible norovirus outbreak that was occurring....

...how did we respond to this comment...we looked at each other and started laughing....

Finally they had an ambulance on the way and I took off to get our 6 large pieces of luggage through customs and figure out how to get a taxi to some hotel. Leana stayed to go to the hospital with mom on the ambulance. I found a taxi and a hotel and apparently Leana found a Cuban paramedic admirer. He gave her a sight seeing tour through Miami on the way to the hospital and offered his number to her when they arrived at their destination. Those Latin men are not shy in showing their attraction for you......

I arrived at the hotel with all our luggage in tow, I called family, got our flights cancelled, and then began adding up how much this was going to cost mom...basically the cost of two vacations when it was going to be all said and done.

I decided to call moms travel agent to get some advise on how to save some costs on flights home etc......apparently mom bought insurance for this trip....every single thing was insured...the flights, hotel, hospital. food, taxi's...EVERYTHING! This was huge news, this was something wonderful  coming out of a horrible day.  I think at that moment the day finally hit me and some of the stress was dripping off my back.....I had been up 30+ hours straight....I was tired...I showered off and crawled into bed and fell asleep....

In the meantime mom had no "visits to the bathroom" since about 5am that morning and if they told the hospital they were certain it was norovirus they  would have kept her for a week in quarantine. They took mom to the public hospital, the ghetto hospital of Miami, and Leana was not leaving our mom there so she convinced the Dr. ...or pleaded with Dr..... it was just bad shrimp and she just needed some good sleep at her hotel at this point.......they finally released her that evening.....

Poor mom...she was still just in a robe..so Leana found had a shirt she could wear and apparently a pair of underwear that she grabbed before we left our stateroom...and then they had to catch a taxi to the hotel I found....

So I met them in the lobby at our hotel after their arrival from the cab and here comes mom...looking like death warmed over in a robe, t-shirt, and underwear..and of course I snickered and said....

"Well, that is how we all should arrive at a hotel...in a robe and underwear!"

....my poor mom and all that she has to put up with....I do wish I would have had my camera for her grand entrance...it would have been priceless....

She slept well that night and was feeling better by morning...it may have been a case of norovirus, or something she ate, we don't know for sure...the rest of us were lucky..none of us got sick.....That was a long 48 hours for me....I was just waiting to be sick, unsure if the virus was going to sneak up on me.

We had to stay in Miami till Monday...me and Leana had to be to the airport by 5am and our shuttle did not come pick us up, we had to call a taxi... I got to the airport and my flight was delayed....

When I arrived at the desk to check my bags the lady offered to upgrade my ticket to first class for basically the cost it was going to check my bags + 30 dollars...at first I said no then the last 72 hours flashed through my head.....and then the images of coach flashed through my head...

 and then images of first class came to me............

then I came to my senses and said.....

"Yes! Yes, I will fly home first class, here is my credit card!"

 

Delinquency at the Rum Factory

 

Here we are...me and my sister off ship in Puerto Rico after the "Quarantine" incident......If you look real hard you might see Gabby leaning out on the veranda shouting expletives (Gabby didn't do that, but I am sure she was shouting them in her head).

We actually did not port into Puerto Rico till late afternoon so we were very limited on what to do. We ended up visiting the Bacardi Rum Factory and shopping around Old Town Puerto Rico for awhile.

And I believe the exact words of Gabby were, "I wanted to see how they make rum!" as we we left the infirmary but in all honesty the rum factory was a huge disappointment and a waste of time. I think Gabby was pleased to hear this bit of information when we came back later that evening....BUT... let me go ahead and show some top secret rum factory photos with you and share why me and my sister are not allowed to go on excursions alone together.

So first of all within 5 minutes off the ship we had flattering pick up lines thrown out at us and a man letting me know he is divorced and available. So I quickly came to the conclusion that if Adrian ever chose to leave this apparently hot "chica", I will have to move to Puerto Rico because I will be able to find a date without any problems. So they had a bus available to load up on, that I believe my parents may have ridden to school in the 1950's to take us to this rum factory.

 However I knew we had a good tour guide because look at his name.....Adrian...perfect!

Adrian was a great tour guide and shared with us Puerto Rico's coqui frog that he caught earlier that day.......a coqui is indigenous to Puerto Rico and they are very small and have a distinct croak.

......and you want to know what Puerto Ricans pay for gas.......mmmmm.......... .97cents a gallon....nice huh! So after a very warm ride through questionable neighborhoods we arrive at the Bacardi factory and we wait for our tour to begin. So I see a tree on the grounds that is the kind that grows its roots back down in the ground from limbs of the tree so I figure I will get closer to take a picture but apparently you are not allowed to go on any of the grass, which by the way is not grass..it is mowed down weeds. There was no signs...I guess they figure people will not venture onto the grass when free rum is being passed out. So me and my sister begin out on the grass and are whistled at and yelled at to come back to the concrete waiting area. So Bacardi can suck it, I took a picture of the tree before I began walking away even though you can't see the detail of it ...

So they load us up on the bus and I think to myself we will see sugar cane fields and take a tour of the factory where the rum is being distilled......no. no. no. no. no. no....they take us to a museum and begin telling us the history of Bacardi...we watch a dumb film and then they take us to a room...

Where apparently we cannot take pictures....no sign again....nobody said we could not...I took a few pics....and was quickly whistled at and then yelled at not to take pictures? We were looking at 1800's distillery's.....old trademark signs........old paperwork...why can't I take a picture...Is this the CIA of rum...are they showing us the holy grail of rum secrets?....

SO....Bacardi can suck it again....at this time I am going to post all three  pictures I took in this top secret museum......EVERY PICTURE...even if they are out of focus....so here you go....TOP SECRET STUFF PEOPLE...enjoy!

and now a sign that no one has ever seen before....you won't believe your eyes on how top secret this sign is...you will be amazed what kind of secrets this museum held...TAAAADAAA!

...yup...it is the Bacardi bat logo...the one that MILLIONS of people see every day but apparently this bat logo is different...it is top secret!!!  you could take a picture of this bat logo......

...or this bat logo.....

 

.....but not that first logo...really it became my mission to take pictures of all bat logos just so I could mentally tell Bacardi to suck it!...and that was it...no factory...no sugar cane fields...nothing...they took us back to the gift shop and sent us back to our 1950's school bus!

So in conclusion Leana and I were yelled at twice on our excursion..so.....in reality mom would have hated the ride to the factory because of the heat and questionable neighborhoods  we had to drive through and Gabby would have been thoroughly embarrassed by her mom and aunts antics through out the tour, so in the end it was probably better that Leana had them put in quarantine....at least that is what we convinced ourselves.

Anyways we made it back to the ship but were unsure if we wanted to get back on the ship where Leana's parental fail was awaiting our return so we decided to do some shopping in Old City Puerto Rico which was in the pier area of the ship. This area was fun and I wish we would have just stayed in this area for the day.

When we got back to the ship we learned that not only had they been quarantined they gave them a restricted diet of dry toast and chicken broth. ....and apparently by the various visits of the crew our room had become "THAT" room...that contagious room.....but really.....

....at this point mom felt fine...and Gabby had felt fine...and well they were hungry!

quarantined, starved, and the plague of the ship.....

So because Leana and I had access to a bounty of food through out the ship... and well we were not quarantined ....we raided the buffets and smuggled a feast to bring back to the room.....

The ship ported out that evening at 11 and we bid adios to Puerto Rico and called it a night.....it was definitely an adventure...and I still say..... suck it BACARDI!

Next stop.....St Thomas.......quarantine, shotguns, and iguanas

TO BE CONTINUED:

Sisterhood

I was not raised in large family and I have one sibling. We are six years apart in age, she being the oldest. We were mortal enemies growing up, she was mean, and I was a brat. It was her daily mission to exclude me from whatever activity she was doing and it was my daily mission to figure out a way to see how I could include myself in whatever she was doing. Leana went off to basic training for the military about the time we moved to Utah and when she came back I don't know if it was maturity or not having to be around each other for several months but our relationship changed. It was no longer bickering siblings but more of a friendship.

We have watched our families grow up and though we get limited time together we cherish the time we have. I tease her that we will out live our husbands and then we can become the crazy cat lady sisters that live together (only problem with that is I am allergic to cats but I figured by then I will be to senile to know the difference). I will be the sister that will drive because I am younger and she is fairly blind already so I can just imagine what her eyesight will be like when she is 85 and also you shrink the older you get and she is fairly short already so she wouldn't be able to see over the steering wheel anyways. I think I will be the senile one, I will make the jello molds with cat food in it, I will wear my bra on the outside of clothes, and wear my lipstick extending beyond my lip line.

Though I know my sister will probably not see this post because technology is not her friend I want her to know how much I love her. I wanted to be included in everything she did when I was kid because I wanted to be like her, I looked up to her. She is amazingly intelligent with a great sense of humor. She is stunningly beautiful and has a heart of gold. I am blessed she is my one and only sister.

"Sisters is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship within a family"~ Margaret Mead