"When Wonder Woman Left Me, and Napoleon Dynamite Took Over."

As a kid I was invincible...nobody could tell me otherwise....In fact I had a pair of Wonder Woman Underoos set that told me I was invincible. I proudly wore these underwear and camisole everywhere around the house, and if I added accessories such as gold bracelets and a cape, I felt the outfit was suited for outside apparel...much to my older sisters embarrassment. Leana (the older sister) would stand in the front window yelling for mom to come get me because I was outside in my underwear.

Really..... she should have been happy because apparently on irrigation day ( you flooded your lawn with irrigation water instead of using sprinklers and it left a lake of water on your lawn) ...I would run naked with the neighbor boy through the water. So at least with Underoos on, I was wearing something.


I am going to get off track here for a moment and discuss the irrigation water. So our neighbors behind us had a pool, and you could hear them diving off their diving board, yelling Marco...Polo..., and splashing about. We did not have a pool...we had dirty canal water. Our solution...pull out heavy duty garbage bags and make a "Redneck" slip and slide out of it.....when I look back on this memory all that comes to mind is....

..."You Might be Redneck If...."......

 
Anyways  back to my train of thought......I continued going through childhood with this same invincibility attitude...

...and then junior high hit......

So let me paint a picture. I moved to Utah in junior high...

I went from a fairly small town where I knew everyone to a big city and didn't know anybody. I was going through that weird puberty/ awkward body time. It was the 80's so I was sporting a horrendous perm. I had this perm right before I left Idaho. I believe I had it done at the local mall, and for some reason back then they found the smallest rods, and did your whole head including bangs.

So I may be exaggerating but I am pretty sure I looked something look this...

I am sure I have actual pictures around here but it was a traumatic time in my life and I try to block this period of time out of my memories. So in Utah the style was more like.....

which also looked stupid but in junior high you just want to look like everyone else.....and once again I may exaggerating but I am pretty sure I looked something like this....

I made it through Junior High...I survived...I lost my invincibility mojo along the way...I was no longer Wonder Women in my head....it changed me..


My twin daughters start junior high this year. I had anxiety walking into the school. All those years of hell flashed through my head. I felt my anxiety growing as they couldn't figure out how to open their lockers, they couldn't find where their classrooms were going to be, and they had to take their yearbook photo that day and none of us knew that....they were not picture ready....

and then...

I saw other kids struggling to open their lockers, unaware pictures were going to be taken, and confused about where their classrooms were going to be...

aaahhh junior high...that place where all your super hero attitudes seep away...

...that place where you learn just how vulnerable you truly are...

The twins will survive...they may come out a little bruised and battered like we all did...

...maybe....

I should take them to the mall this weekend and see about getting them...

..a perm.....

Call Me Crazy!

Happy July...is that what month it is? This summer is going by in a blink of an eye..is it?

Lets see, what is happening in the Brand house?...Apparently the word "energy" is difficult for Makenzie to say ...and I find her trying to say it, ADORABLE...because she is... well...adorable...

That kid cracks me up...and drives me to the brink of INSANITY most days. As of lately she is always wanting to know what we are doing five minutes from now or two weeks from now. She is not my, "live in the moment kind of girl"....she needs to know what is coming next. Even when reading her books she is trying to peek at the end to see what is coming. I think Makenzie hears me saying, "Don't worry about it, just relax and enjoy the moment!" at least twenty times a day.

We borrowed my father-in-laws telescope and set it up the other night to get a close up view of the moon. The twins were in awe of the craters and the magnificence of it,  Makenzie seemed disappointed after her view through the lens. I asked her what is wrong and she said, " Well, I thought there would be more to see....like an astronaut or something!"....sigh...that kid....I wonder if life will ever live up to her grand expectations?


The twins went to their first girls camp...I think they enjoyed it? They are in that teen grumble grumble stage. You ask questions and either you  get a grumble or something that resembles an answer.  I usually get the full story over a course of a few days because I am persistant and keep asking until they surrender and share with me. Most of their days are spent with friends.....and at this point I am the person that provides a bed, food, and electronic devices. They also drive me CRAZY most days with their inconsistent moods but who said living with teen girls was easy.....

I am gainfully employed at a skill care center....I will continue working through school...so I am thinking by the time I hit Christmas break from nursing school and working 12 hours shifts at the care center I should look something like this....so BE WARNED.....

I am finding a theme in this post so far ...."CRAZY".......

So lets go ahead and finish this post off with one of my CRAZY ideas....

So I have discussed my fascination with "Fancy" chickens in previous posts and my need to own some...but I have decided now that I can't just stop at the chickens I need something else to go along with the chickens......

I need fancy chickens.....

I also need a a pack of alpacas that I can shave various hairdos on.....

I also need a pack of fainting goats.....

Call me "CRAZY"...but how entertaining would these barnyard animals be? After a long day at work, I could sit on my porch look out on my land (I would need to move to a house with lots of land to fullfill this barnyard need)...and see all these animals and automatically my day would melt away and all I could do is smile......

a "CRAZY" smile..........

"The Joy Of Enjoying"

When I am on the computer doing homework for school, I seem to find myself coming over to blogger to break up the monotony of learning about human cells and why our bodies do the things they do. On my blog I can write without grammatical judgement (please don't judge me) and lack of any cerebral depth ( I only have cerebal depth at school.. at home any fart joke makes me laugh). When I am finished I move back to the place where commas and rational thoughts matter.

A friend stopped me the other day and gave me an earnest and concerned look and asked, "Why have you not written in awhile?"......"Is everything okay?".......

I felt the urgency to come up with some grand reason as to why I have a lack of words...why I have been silent for a month......

but......the real reason...

LAZINESS!

For me to write would require some concentration beyond what it requires for me to come up with a creative word in Words With Friends or busting down a particularly hard structure in Angry Birds. I have to put a logical thought in a continuous manner when I write.....and I am to lazy to do that right now.

I am not laying around  in my t-shirt and underwear all day watching Real Housewives  ( I only do that when the kids go to bed ).  I have been organizing the house, exercising, playing with my kids,

......looking for work that will work around my school schedule......

The next two years are going to be crazy....school, work, family.....LIFE....

I am just enjoying the silence before the storm.....and enjoying time with my kiddos this summer....

....I am enjoying sleeping in...

....I am enjoying Kenzie climbing in bed with me in the morning and watching some T.V....

....I am enjoying my morning runs....

....I am enjoying the kids friends and all their giggles as they come and go all day....

....I am enjoying my evening walks with my girls and all stories they share with me....

....I am enjoying  our afternoon movie watching just because we can....

....I am enjoying trips to the libraries and the nightly reading of these books....


So my dear friend don't be concerned....life is okay...it is just a quiet summer spent at home.....


just enjoying ......

Week Two With Our Elf!

I am done with school for a few weeks and honestly once I was done with my last final Wednesday.. I collapsed.... I have moved from the couch, to my bed, to the computer desk...I have maxed out my laziness to the fullest extent for a few days. Last week we began our elf on a shelf adventure and this week it has gone well but I honestly have handed some of the responsibilities of the elf to the twins this week because I had no brain cells left to be creative and it may have interrupted my unadulterated laziness!

Anyways, here is part two of our week with "Chip" our elf.

Night 7: Chip left a present under the kids tree for Makenzie...what could it be?

That sweet Chip knows Makenzie loves Jessie from Toy Story so he gave her a small Jessie doll (it was a McDonald's toy I found when cleaning out Christmas stuff)...she loved it!

Night 8: It was a rough night in the Brand household..Lets just say Makenzie was trying to make her way to the naughty list and I may or may not have been on the brink of loosing it as I approached the last of my finals. She went to bed in tears and in trouble so we decided Chip needed to remind her why he is here.

Chip sat down and typed her letter to remind her to be good, kind, helpful, and honest. He also brought up the Santa tracker to show her how close Santa was to come visiting her.

Night 9: Chip left an envelope with seeds from the North Pole and requested her to plant them to see what grows.

Let me explain the thing on his head and body. Makenzie decided he needed a house. I think she thinks if she builds Chip a house he will want to stay all year, and if she built it with marshmallows he  REALLY will want to stay. I explained that I thought the house was to small; she felt otherwise......So this is Chips "house".... Do you think it is to small?

These are the seeds from the North Pole that Chip gave to her. It is a mix of Christmas sprinkles and a pack of wildflower seeds I had in the drawer.

She planted her seeds as soon as she got home from school. It takes a few days for something to grow... so this day is to be continued.......

Night 10: It apparently was party night for Chip and a lot of other toys in the house...even Mr. Potato head and Thor were invited. I actually handed Chip over to the twins for the night and let them decide and stage the evenings event. They told me they wanted Chip to have a party, so when they were done staging the event they wanted to show me...it was Chip and three Barbies...that was it??? Listen, I don't want Chip to give the wrong impression, him wining and dining three ladies is a little reminiscent of Hugh Hefner, so I kindly convinced them that for it to be a good party they needed to invite more people than three ladies...our Chip has a respectable reputation to uphold.

Chip still did manage to find himself keeping company with two lovely blondes.

 Lets face it if you are going to have a party like Chip did the night before...even an elf has got to get caught up on his sleep...So he got Makenzie's stocking and got some sleep.

 He fell asleep at the end of her bed. Here is the funny part, though she was thrilled to see him in the morning at the end of her bed, she was not thrilled to have him in her bed when she went bed that night. She said,"that kinda creeped her out and did not want an elf walking around her bed while she slept!" So we moved Chip under the Christmas tree so Makenzie could sleep peacefully!

 Uh Oh...what did Chip do?

 He T.P.'d the kids Christmas tree.....Makenzie scolded Chip and told him he really should not waste toilet paper like that.

 Cereal spilled on the counter top (Yes! Those are my counter tops...Yes! I have the most hideous 1970's kitchen in the world....and no I don't think this look will ever come back in style..."sigh")......the cereal spelled out her name....well at least her nickname.

Chip hanging out in the cereal tub

This next week will be our last week with Chip, Saturday he will be leaving for the North Pole.

Tonight....I think...something is finally going to grow from those seeds that Chip brought back from the North Pole!

C'mon What Is Your Top Five

So have you ever been sitting around talking with friends and said, "What is your top five best looking men?"...C'mon we have all done it. We ask our spouse we ask our friends because I think first of all we are curious to know what other people find attractive and well we are just curious especially when it comes to our spouses. For example, come to find out my husband seems to like the latino type, Salma Hayek, Sofia Vergara; really he likes brunettes that are curvy, which works out well for me. Now the top 5 list changes and people come and go but it is usually pretty consistent. Dwayne Johnson aka "The Rock"....sigh.....yes I can't say the name without a sigh. He is tall, dark, and handsome with tattoos. I know the tattoo thing is a generational but I am of the generation of tattoos and a find "The Rocks" particularly yummy.

Vin Diesel, I love that voice and that body is...well....nice. See, top two tells you I do like shaved heads, dark features, big, and nice arms. I know nothing about these men but in my head I see these kind of guys as being manly men but know how to be gentle when needed and treat their ladies like gold. I don't like wimpy, passive, timid men. Nothing is more of a turn off than a passive guy to me. I also don't like needy men that are constantly needing reassurance and to be told what to do. It is probably the high testosterone type movies that these guys do that somehow endure me to them even more.

Oh Brad...one of the few blonde's that is hard to resist. I first saw him in Thelma and Louise and have been hooked since. He is and oddity because first of all he is blonde and he is one of the few men that I ever found attractive with long hair, Legends of the Fall.....oh Tristan. He has a great smile and he gets better with age I think. Not only does Angelina have great lips but she also has Brad....some girls have all the luck.......

Gerard Butler. He is one that rotates in out of list but he seems to find his way back in a lot. He is once again a manly man...he oozes manliness. He has a look that is not overly sexy but the more you watch him the more you find yourself being attracted. He is the kind of guy you picture sitting around watching football, having a beer, smoking a cigar, flirty, kinda a ladies man that you are not sure you could ever trust....yup that is Gerard in a nutshell for me.

Okay put the kooky Scientology and the fact he is short in the back of your mind. This movie, this scene, made me realize I truly love men and find them......Delicious! Every girl knows this gratuitous scene of sweaty flesh. Tom Cruise was my childhood celebrity crush and for that reason even if he jumps on Oprah's couch he will always be in my top five.


So ladies...who is your type five? Do you like the suave, sophisticated man; is the artsy, intelligent man your type, or is it the pretty boy that makes every girl and gay man giggle?

C'mon we all have that list.......