Just Life and All Things Involved

In the past month.... few weeks....few days.... today.... and right now...this is what has been happening....

About a month and a half ago she turned 6...she may be going on 26....seriously, she tried to convince me she needs a cell phone.

They turned 13 this past month...they may be going on 3....I say that out of love, but they are teens..you understand.

About a month ago I got to spend a weekend with this guy..my dad...

I started school and the last few weeks we started simulation type labs to practice nursing skills. This is us practicing dressing a wound (and yes, that is a butt, next week we do foley catheters..I think you can imagine what that simulation part looks like)....guess what... this simulation came in handy... because the other day I got to dress a real wound that was just as deep and nasty as this one...and it was AWESOME!!!

 These past few weeks I have worked a lot...I work at a skilled care center that has long term care, rehabilitation unit, and a Alzheimer's unit. All units have there pros and cons when working them but overall it has been good.  Lets face it when working with predominately geriatric patients the highlights of the day is when they do this (see below)...I wish I could give them this t-shirt....it would also make my job easier when it came to charting, then I would not have to ask them the inevitable question everyday.....

This is what my google search looks like on my phone over the past week. Please note the third search on the list...I study...I stress.... I want to eat...and eat....and eat so I start looking at my favorite food blogs and then I snap out of it and begin my scholastic search again

 

 

The last few days...well....I hit my wall....I am tired, emotionally drained, exhausted kindof wall...my days start really early and end late with no rest in between...but...like everyone else going through the same feelings and exhausting schedule...you just keep going...because...well that is what you do....

 

 

 

Today I did my weekly cleaning at my in-laws. My mother-in-law is going through chemo for breast cancer...it has been tough going..name it and she has experienced it. Just this week she had to go through a blood transfusion. I love her and my heart aches a little time I see her....she has two more chemo treatments to go....

 

 

Right now....I am sitting on the couch watching Avengers with my family....

 

...and believe you and me....

 

 there is no other place I would rather be........

 





Every Little Thing Is Gonna Be Alright

I am having my half way there "BLAHS"......Do you ever have those days, weeks...months for some ...where something is just off?

You can't put a finger on it other than saying...."BLAH"......

Motivation is lacking....enthusiasm is minimal......laziness has crept in.....

I am a little over half way there in my weight loss and I have hit that dreaded plateau...physically and mentally. To the point where I stepped off the treadmill this last week...It just was not in me to exercise....What is the worst thing to do when trying to lose weight?...stop when it is getting the hardest. I will get back on the treadmill...my eating has remained healthy and consistent...I just need to find that spark again!..... I am only 10 pounds away from my end of summer goal......

I am half way there in school.....all my pre-req's are done, now it is on to just the core nursing classes.....getting everything together for nursing school has cost me a small fortune this summer...seriously 63.00 dollars for a scrub top? Updates on vaccinations at 50+ dollars a piece... CPR class...background checks.....and little things here and there that add up....I have not even looked at the books I need to purchase...thank goodness for grants and scholarships in the fall.....

My hair is half way there in growing out and it is at code red levels right now. I am growing it out so it will be easy to pull back when doing clinicals. The length is at that awkward level...I have huge amounts of cowlicks along the baseline of my hair and they are running rampant right now....they are not controllable and I am at their mercy...It is taking everything in my power not to run to my hairdresser and cut it to a comfortable level.....thank goodness my hair grows fast, and though it is annoying right now, it is temporary......

Monetarily things are tight so we have to be creative with extracurricular activities...there is only so many red box movie you can watch, and picnics to the park that can be had...my kids are getting cabin fever...I have cabin fever.....I think the summer "BLAHS" have infected the house.....unlike millions of others our health is good, our bills are paid, and meals are on the table...can't ask for more than that.

Here is the problem with the "BLAHS"...10 pounds from a goal, grants and scholarships, thick full hair, and roof over my head..... are all lost in a cloud of humdrums and tedious parts of life.

So how does one cure the "BLAHS" ?

Get back on the treadmill......realize the extra costs of school will bring nothing but financial gain in the end....buy some hair accessories and deal with it......family financial sacrifices is a temporary bump on the road right now.....

The "BLAHS" will fade away and....

in the words of Bob Marley~

...no truer words have been spoken,,,,,,

Fork In The Road

There is that time in life when you finally approach that fork in the road and you have to decide which direction you have to go. You take a deep breath and you go ahead and make your turn....you are on a new road and headed hopefully on the right path.....

When the twins were born we made a decision for me to stay home. I always knew that me staying at home  was not a permanent choice... but at the time it seemed to be the best decision for us. The years went by pretty seamlessly and then the economy ran over us with a Mac truck. Job change,  job losses, and a constant battlefield of uncertainty. We decided it was time for me to get back in the work force. I was not going to be gone 40+ hours a week from my family only making 10 dollars or less an hour. I was going to make sure it made economic sense for me to work outside the home. So I went back to school with the intent of getting a degree in nursing.

I worked for a little while when I started school as a CNA, but with Adrian's night job at the time and my job went into the night hours trying to find babysitting on Sunday nights and other nights became a nightmare and put a huge amount of stress on us. We desperately needed the extra income I made so we had to figure out a solution. Adrian went and found another job that was not at night and made more money so I could stay at home for a little longer because we did not have many options at the time. The kids were to young to leave at home by themselves for extended periods and we could not afford day care for three kids.....so we put me working for the time being on the back burner....

So fast forward to Monday morning............

I started my job at a skilled nursing center....

...okay so working is not huge...millions of people do it everyday.....

but for me it was that turn on to a brand new road.......

I have been home with my kids for basically the last twelve years....

but as of Monday I will be working...from here on out....until I guess .....I retire......

It was kind of surreal when I pulled up to the job.....

I am officially now on a new path....

....Now...I just hope I made the right turn in the fork of the road......



( p.s......by 9 am on my first day of the job I was highly questioning this decision...The air conditioning was down, I was wrist deep in poop, and having to contend with aloof coworkers...
...nobody said the road be easy I suppose....)

Call Me Crazy!

Happy July...is that what month it is? This summer is going by in a blink of an eye..is it?

Lets see, what is happening in the Brand house?...Apparently the word "energy" is difficult for Makenzie to say ...and I find her trying to say it, ADORABLE...because she is... well...adorable...

That kid cracks me up...and drives me to the brink of INSANITY most days. As of lately she is always wanting to know what we are doing five minutes from now or two weeks from now. She is not my, "live in the moment kind of girl"....she needs to know what is coming next. Even when reading her books she is trying to peek at the end to see what is coming. I think Makenzie hears me saying, "Don't worry about it, just relax and enjoy the moment!" at least twenty times a day.

We borrowed my father-in-laws telescope and set it up the other night to get a close up view of the moon. The twins were in awe of the craters and the magnificence of it,  Makenzie seemed disappointed after her view through the lens. I asked her what is wrong and she said, " Well, I thought there would be more to see....like an astronaut or something!"....sigh...that kid....I wonder if life will ever live up to her grand expectations?


The twins went to their first girls camp...I think they enjoyed it? They are in that teen grumble grumble stage. You ask questions and either you  get a grumble or something that resembles an answer.  I usually get the full story over a course of a few days because I am persistant and keep asking until they surrender and share with me. Most of their days are spent with friends.....and at this point I am the person that provides a bed, food, and electronic devices. They also drive me CRAZY most days with their inconsistent moods but who said living with teen girls was easy.....

I am gainfully employed at a skill care center....I will continue working through school...so I am thinking by the time I hit Christmas break from nursing school and working 12 hours shifts at the care center I should look something like this....so BE WARNED.....

I am finding a theme in this post so far ...."CRAZY".......

So lets go ahead and finish this post off with one of my CRAZY ideas....

So I have discussed my fascination with "Fancy" chickens in previous posts and my need to own some...but I have decided now that I can't just stop at the chickens I need something else to go along with the chickens......

I need fancy chickens.....

I also need a a pack of alpacas that I can shave various hairdos on.....

I also need a pack of fainting goats.....

Call me "CRAZY"...but how entertaining would these barnyard animals be? After a long day at work, I could sit on my porch look out on my land (I would need to move to a house with lots of land to fullfill this barnyard need)...and see all these animals and automatically my day would melt away and all I could do is smile......

a "CRAZY" smile..........

Where Will You Be In Ten Years?

I am an activities leader in my church. Basically twice a month I have to entertain some girls between the ages of 8-11 for an hour and half.  The last time we met it was my turn to lead the activity and come up with what we were going to do. The women in the church are putting together a time capsule. The women in the church are encouraged to place a current picture, family history, and share something about themselves in the time capsule. The time capsule will be opened 30 years later ( that would make me 66 when it is opened). So my idea was to have the girls make a mini time capsule for themselves, to be opened when they are 21. I had them include  a testimony or their feelings about the church,  I had them fill out some information about themselves, where they see themselves in 10-13 years from now, and I took a picture of them. They are to put it somewhere they won't lose it and open it sometime in the future ( I suspect most will lose it or open it in a month).

In the process of doing this project I showed the girls some of my own personal items, pictures, and how much life changes over a ten year period, and how quickly life moves. I showed a picture of me at age 8 and things I had scrapbooked from that age. I then showed a picture of me ten years later.....it was my wedding photo...and ten years (plus a couple more years) after that......I had my family portrait with my three kids gathered around me....

First..... of all I discovered I have definitely hit that "middle age" mark. One of the questions I had the girls answer was, what is your favorite song?  One of the girls said her favorite song was by some group.....a group I had never heard of......a group that apparently is very popular right now...a boy bandish type of group. I said, "I have never heard of that group."...the look I received from all the girls was look of horror..a look of....."HOLY CRAP YOU ARE OLD"...kinda look. I gave that same look at that age to older people..... that same look if they didn't know all the songs by Michael Jackson or The Police......I am now that same "older" person......sigh........

Secondly.....Eventhough I was trying to show the girls how fast time flies, I think I was more in shock about how much life can change over ten years.....

Ten years ago I had sweet two year old twins that kept me on my toes at all times. They ran around speaking jibber jabber and getting into anything they could get their pudgy little toddler fingers in to. I was in a full on mom mode...baking....cleaning....playdates....scrapbooking....it was wonderful and I am so glad I was able to be with my kiddos. However; over the next ten years economic changes happened...I became a bit restless at home.....I knew I needed something else.....I needed something a little more in my life....

so...I went back to college......and now we here we are....ten years from that toddler totting momma....

 .....I no longer have toddlers...I have two young women who are taller than me and are turning in to beautiful women.......

 ......we have another addition to our family who begins 1st grade next year....the sky is limit for this little one.....

....I am still madly, deeply, truly in love with this man.......

....and me...well...here I am... older... maybe a little wiser...and a graduate of college with honors....

Wow! .......Ten years......gone in a blink of the eye......

.....Wonder what life has in store for the next ten years?

.....I am not sure but I am ready for the adventure..........

You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something- your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

~ Steve Jobs

Class of 2014

This last year I have been finishing up my required courses so I could put in my application for nursing school. I think I have explained my predicament that came with this in a previous post.....I want to emphasize the fact that this program comes around once every two years and they only accept 20 students statewide. This program is also perfect for me because I can do all the classroom work from my home...which as a mom...you can not ask for anything more perfect than that.

I sent in my application at the end of February knowing I would have an answer back sometime in early April. On my last post I was starting to feel the panic because I knew an answer was coming soon.......and now the waiting was killing me!!!!

I was not the only one going through this waiting game...my friend Leeann was also going through the same stresses...she was waiting for an answer also. We have gone through this together...we have stood over a dead woman's body together in anatomy pinning and labeling her reproductive system...lets face it we are bonded for life over that alone!!!! We have endured a week of ridiculously boring CNA classes together ! We have had to drive through snowstorms, changed adult diapers, and worked with fellow students that had penises drawn on their body with sharpies for clinicals...yup we need each other to get through nursing school...I need someone that can laugh with me, and challenge me to do my best so I can get through this program..... there is not a better person than Leeann to do this!

Tuesday night I was sitting in my pathology course and I hear two fellow students talking about their acceptance into the nursing program......WHAAAAATTTT!......they got their acceptance letter..I DIDN'T GET MINE!!!!!!!....this was person number three at this point that I knew had gotten an acceptance letter......they went on and on about their acceptance.... I was seconds away from crawling under my table, curling into a fetal position, and start sobbing softly.....I was also visualizing in my head.... jumping over my table, knocking both of them out, and tearing up their acceptance letter....

Instead.... I excused myself to the bathroom and cried softly in a bathroom stall......while texting Leeann and Adrian about my possible nervous breakdown that was occurring at USU's bathroom. Leeann had not received her acceptance letter either...so basically I also passed my nervous breakdown over to her ...What are friends for if you can't share your neurosis???

I left class...drove home crying.....and had thoroughly convinced myself I was not going to be 1 of the now 17 nursing students.........

.....next morning...I decided to hit the post office early so I could get my rejection letter .... I  convinced myself I was getting one....so I could burn it.....binge on junk food......then crawl in bed with indigestion and come out sometime next month............

but....instead of rejection I received....acceptance....

There it is ....my next two years in a letter......

I DID IT!!!!

I GOT IN!!!!

I am excited and scared all intermingled together....

Getting to this point has taken a lot of work over the past two years and now it is here.....

So on to the next chapter.....

Here I come Weber State University!!!!

are you ready for me...or should I say...... Am I ready for you?