McDonalds, It Can Be Therapeutic!

When we had the twins I decided to stay home, and I was a housewife for a lot of years. I will readily admit that being at home with toddler twins was challenging...and by challenging.....I mean bang your head repeatedly on a spike studded 2X4 challenging.

My days consisted of...

 Blues Clues...... I became very attached to Steve....then Steve went to college....I don't want to talk about it..it was traumatic!

Missing sippy cups that of course had milk in them...to be found three days later with curdled milk in them...oh the horror of that smell. If you have never had a toddler, you have no idea of the importance of the sippy cup. Look, when it comes to the importance of inventions in my book, sippy cups are in the top ten, it is a close second to TiVo and Spanx.

Countless hours of picking up toys that I had just picked up two minutes before. I had a bright idea to buy them a ball pit at some point...worst idea ever!

Hours spent trying to use child psychology to convince two two year olds that they cannot go to preschool until they are potty trained....it all came down to old fashioned bribery...M&M's to be exact....it went something like this..."You go pee in that potty chair and you get chocolate and sugar made into colorful yummy goodness...and you go poop in that same potty and I will give you the whole damn 8 pound bag of colorful yummy goodness."

Countless hours spent agonizing if it is really worth it to load the kids up in their car seats, coats, mittens, and hats to go to the grocery store. "Do they really need milk and bread?" I would ask myself. Now, to the person who has not had a toddler this seems like a stupid question to ponder, but to the person who has had a toddler, this a perfectly legitimate dilemma. See, if I took them to the store, it turned into what felt like an expedition to Dante's inferno and back. At some point in our grocery trip someone would have cried, pooped, or needed a Band-Aid...and is all that worth it for milk...I think not!

Now there was other aspects to being home also...I may or may not have participated in...like....

.... watching the whole T.V. series of Dawson's Creek, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and 7th Heaven....

....Spending a few hours here and there talking to friends on the phone in similar situations...they kept me sane!

......Some days were spent in my PJ's the whole day

.....Countless hours of baking and cooking fun stuff...hence why I gained copious amounts of weight.

...and there were honestly days I did nothing....nothing at all....

So why am I reminiscing about this blip in my life?

I saw a small glimmer of what I looked like back then...in my husband...this last week.

So my schedule is busy...I am gone a lot...my hubby has been playing Mr. Mom. He has been home the last 2 months on workman's comp because of his broken tibia.

I came home after a 12 hour day...it was one of many 12 hour days....

Dinner was burnt...the kids were grounded...he had not attempted to groom himself in a few days....the house was trashed...

I was pissed at first when I walked into this chaos....

I thought.."What the hell, I have been busting my butt all day and I come home to this?"...."What have you been doing all day?"

...I also discovered he ritually watched criminal minds reruns on T.V...wore the same shorts daily... spent a lot of time playing online video games...was trying new recipes and upset that I had not praised a new recipe he made, he vehemently let me know his disappoint in my lack of acknowledging his hard work on this recipe......

it was me...

11 years ago... minus the ponytail and toddler boogers wiped on my clothes.

...all my days of being a "housewife".... and some days...

 I just failed at it...I flopped....I should have been fired some days!

So what did I do...I put my jacket back on...told the kids to get their shoes...asked the husband to change his clothes (remember he has been wearing the same shorts daily).... and get in the car....

We went to McDonald's for dinner...The kids were happy...the husband was happy he was getting out of the house and "mom" was home.....It is not 5 five star dining but in that moment it is what is needed.

The same thing happened on many occasions 11 years ago...Adrian loading us all up in the car...the toddlers were happy, and I was happy I was getting out of the house... and "dad" was home.

This is marriage...marriage with kids.....

 Perfectly imperfect. It is complicated, messy, full of flaws, and lacks five star dining...and....

Some day's we just fail at it...

Some day's we flop on our face...

Some day's we really should be fired....

...and some day's.....

We just need that one person who is willing to takes us to....

.... McDonald's.....

Goal almost reached...Can I have a piece of cake now?

http://namebrandmomingenericjeans.blogspot.com/2012/04/fighting-my-inner-demoncupcakes.html

So at the end of January I made the dreaded New Years resolution....

LOSE WEIGHT....

So I wrote a blog entry (posted above) about the journey I started. I have started this journey many times over the years and about 5 months later I seem to flounder and start finding a million reasons why I need that Snickers bar. At my original post I had lost 31 pounds at that point and that was at the end of April (exclude March from that equation, I went on my cruise that month and ate my way through vacation.... and I don't regret it... and it was yummy!). I set goal for my birthday to lose 61 pounds total.

...so today is my birthday....

...and the grand total is.....

Not quite 61 pounds but pretty darn close ....

....and I am sure by Labor day I will be at that 61 weight lose marker......

.....I am down four sizes from where I originally started......

I have been lacking in the exercise department this last month. I will figure out a groove that works around my work. When I work a 12 hour shift and 11 hours and 45 minutes of it has been on my feet, the last thing I want to do is exercise. I know I need to find a routine  that will work for me on my days off ...and stay motivated to do it.

I eat healthy but I don't go overboard...I allow a yummy treat now and then.

Other than vitamins I am not taking any weight loss pills..

I am just learning moderation and finding my exercise groove so that it becomes a lifestyle habit and not a "diet".

So now it is time to set another goal I gave myself 15 weeks last time....

that is November 19th...right before the holidays......hmmmmm

I have slowed down as far as how much I lose weekly so I am shootimg for another .....

So when I make a birthday wish today...

I will be repeating 20 in my head

Wish me luck!

Fork In The Road

There is that time in life when you finally approach that fork in the road and you have to decide which direction you have to go. You take a deep breath and you go ahead and make your turn....you are on a new road and headed hopefully on the right path.....

When the twins were born we made a decision for me to stay home. I always knew that me staying at home  was not a permanent choice... but at the time it seemed to be the best decision for us. The years went by pretty seamlessly and then the economy ran over us with a Mac truck. Job change,  job losses, and a constant battlefield of uncertainty. We decided it was time for me to get back in the work force. I was not going to be gone 40+ hours a week from my family only making 10 dollars or less an hour. I was going to make sure it made economic sense for me to work outside the home. So I went back to school with the intent of getting a degree in nursing.

I worked for a little while when I started school as a CNA, but with Adrian's night job at the time and my job went into the night hours trying to find babysitting on Sunday nights and other nights became a nightmare and put a huge amount of stress on us. We desperately needed the extra income I made so we had to figure out a solution. Adrian went and found another job that was not at night and made more money so I could stay at home for a little longer because we did not have many options at the time. The kids were to young to leave at home by themselves for extended periods and we could not afford day care for three kids.....so we put me working for the time being on the back burner....

So fast forward to Monday morning............

I started my job at a skilled nursing center....

...okay so working is not huge...millions of people do it everyday.....

but for me it was that turn on to a brand new road.......

I have been home with my kids for basically the last twelve years....

but as of Monday I will be working...from here on out....until I guess .....I retire......

It was kind of surreal when I pulled up to the job.....

I am officially now on a new path....

....Now...I just hope I made the right turn in the fork of the road......



( p.s......by 9 am on my first day of the job I was highly questioning this decision...The air conditioning was down, I was wrist deep in poop, and having to contend with aloof coworkers...
...nobody said the road be easy I suppose....)

Call Me Crazy!

Happy July...is that what month it is? This summer is going by in a blink of an eye..is it?

Lets see, what is happening in the Brand house?...Apparently the word "energy" is difficult for Makenzie to say ...and I find her trying to say it, ADORABLE...because she is... well...adorable...

That kid cracks me up...and drives me to the brink of INSANITY most days. As of lately she is always wanting to know what we are doing five minutes from now or two weeks from now. She is not my, "live in the moment kind of girl"....she needs to know what is coming next. Even when reading her books she is trying to peek at the end to see what is coming. I think Makenzie hears me saying, "Don't worry about it, just relax and enjoy the moment!" at least twenty times a day.

We borrowed my father-in-laws telescope and set it up the other night to get a close up view of the moon. The twins were in awe of the craters and the magnificence of it,  Makenzie seemed disappointed after her view through the lens. I asked her what is wrong and she said, " Well, I thought there would be more to see....like an astronaut or something!"....sigh...that kid....I wonder if life will ever live up to her grand expectations?


The twins went to their first girls camp...I think they enjoyed it? They are in that teen grumble grumble stage. You ask questions and either you  get a grumble or something that resembles an answer.  I usually get the full story over a course of a few days because I am persistant and keep asking until they surrender and share with me. Most of their days are spent with friends.....and at this point I am the person that provides a bed, food, and electronic devices. They also drive me CRAZY most days with their inconsistent moods but who said living with teen girls was easy.....

I am gainfully employed at a skill care center....I will continue working through school...so I am thinking by the time I hit Christmas break from nursing school and working 12 hours shifts at the care center I should look something like this....so BE WARNED.....

I am finding a theme in this post so far ...."CRAZY".......

So lets go ahead and finish this post off with one of my CRAZY ideas....

So I have discussed my fascination with "Fancy" chickens in previous posts and my need to own some...but I have decided now that I can't just stop at the chickens I need something else to go along with the chickens......

I need fancy chickens.....

I also need a a pack of alpacas that I can shave various hairdos on.....

I also need a pack of fainting goats.....

Call me "CRAZY"...but how entertaining would these barnyard animals be? After a long day at work, I could sit on my porch look out on my land (I would need to move to a house with lots of land to fullfill this barnyard need)...and see all these animals and automatically my day would melt away and all I could do is smile......

a "CRAZY" smile..........

"The Joy Of Enjoying"

When I am on the computer doing homework for school, I seem to find myself coming over to blogger to break up the monotony of learning about human cells and why our bodies do the things they do. On my blog I can write without grammatical judgement (please don't judge me) and lack of any cerebral depth ( I only have cerebal depth at school.. at home any fart joke makes me laugh). When I am finished I move back to the place where commas and rational thoughts matter.

A friend stopped me the other day and gave me an earnest and concerned look and asked, "Why have you not written in awhile?"......"Is everything okay?".......

I felt the urgency to come up with some grand reason as to why I have a lack of words...why I have been silent for a month......

but......the real reason...

LAZINESS!

For me to write would require some concentration beyond what it requires for me to come up with a creative word in Words With Friends or busting down a particularly hard structure in Angry Birds. I have to put a logical thought in a continuous manner when I write.....and I am to lazy to do that right now.

I am not laying around  in my t-shirt and underwear all day watching Real Housewives  ( I only do that when the kids go to bed ).  I have been organizing the house, exercising, playing with my kids,

......looking for work that will work around my school schedule......

The next two years are going to be crazy....school, work, family.....LIFE....

I am just enjoying the silence before the storm.....and enjoying time with my kiddos this summer....

....I am enjoying sleeping in...

....I am enjoying Kenzie climbing in bed with me in the morning and watching some T.V....

....I am enjoying my morning runs....

....I am enjoying the kids friends and all their giggles as they come and go all day....

....I am enjoying my evening walks with my girls and all stories they share with me....

....I am enjoying  our afternoon movie watching just because we can....

....I am enjoying trips to the libraries and the nightly reading of these books....


So my dear friend don't be concerned....life is okay...it is just a quiet summer spent at home.....


just enjoying ......

I Need To Discuss Something Really Important!

First......

Not Important Stuff:

 So I spent a greater part of four days studying for a pathology exam. I get the test and guess what...it was exactly like the practice exam he gave us...the exam took ten minutes to do. I will never complain about given an easy A...but...it felt like thanksgiving dinner, all that work and over within minutes. I felt like standing up on my desk and reciting the importance of water sodium balance in our body just so I could expel some of that knowledge crammed into my brain. Do you want to know the importance of water sodium balance? Call me.. I can tell you in great detail.....

Makenzie proceeded to tell me half way through Wal-Mart that she was not feeling well...she threw up by the doughnut case...there was a lady getting some doughnuts, she left her box sitting there... I don't know why, it is just puke!?....I hope you noted the sarcasm there?.....yup my child was puking in Wal-Mart...clean up in aisle 4...classy stuff right there!!!

There was a little boy at McDonalds that ran around the place like a demon...climbing on tables...screaming at the top of his lungs.. his mother was completly oblivious! Finally she checked back into reality and called for her son......his name...Damien....ironic....... he is satan's spawn child!

Now the important stuff...

..okay so it is not important but now that you are reading this you mine as well finish reading it for my own selfish reasons because that is how I roll:

 I need a new hairstyle, and I need your opinion. I am keeping my fingers crossed I get into the fall nursing program...I need to be able to pull my hair into a ponytail during this time....Clinicals....early morning...I need to be able to do my hair in a short amount of time. With the hairstyle I have now I have to wash it the morning of and style it. It does not take me long but a ponytail would be a fraction of the time and hassle. I like my hair but I need convenience right now. I do not have the patience to grow out my bangs, I don't even know if I have the patience to grow out my hair at this point but I will give it a try....Lets look at what I am thinking...Not to long...layers...and the some bangs...

Perfection...this is what I am thinking...could pull up in a pony...layers...looks cute when down..bangs ...what do you think?......

This is a little choppier, a little edgier...could be more maintenance than the above hairstyle...

Good length.....good bangs.....

Cute....but is it long enough for a pony?...and my hair is much thicker than this..

Cute, Cute, Cute...good hair color...what do you think of this one?

I keep coming back to this......

My hair is more this thickness,...this is a a little longer than I want to go but I like it....it has layers

Exactly the length of pony I am looking for and it works with that style of bangs.

Okay so now it is time to give an opinion....keep my hair short?...grow it out?...what style did you like?....Will I look like any of the above celebrities if I do this?...ignore the last question....I have self-image issues ........Are bangs okay?.....I wish I could afford extensions like these actresses.......opinions, suggestions....anything??????

Psychiatrist Is In

Whites are motivated by peace. Whites will do almost anything to avoid confrontation. They like to flow through life without hassle or discomfort. Feeling good is important to them more than being good.

Whites need kindness. While Whites respond beautifully to thoughtfulness and amiability, they have a strong, silent stubbornness that surfaces when they are treated unkindly. They resent being scolded. They dislike harsh words. They open instantly to people who are kind, but Whites recoil from those who are hostile. They are motivated by kindness-and cannot understand why other people are unkind.

Whites like to keep a low profile. Whites enjoy their quiet independence. What appears to some people as quiet desperation can show itself to be bullheadness. Those who misinterpret the peace loving nature of a White as an invitation to be bossy will soon meet a wall of passive resistance. Whites are tougher than people think.

Whites like to be asked their opinions. They won't volunteer them. They value the respect of others, but they rarely go out of their way to seek it. They need to be coaxed to talk about their skill, hobbies, or interests.

Whites are independent and avoid being controlled. They simply refuse to be under another's thumb, especially when treated without the respect they think they deserve. Whites want to do things in their own way, in their own time. They do not ask much of others, and resent when others demand things from them. They often comply with unreasonable demands to keep the peace. They will only express their anger and frustrations when they can no longer stand being bossed around. Whites do not like to be pushed, and they can be fearsome when they finally "blow up".

Whites make some of the best listeners and will analyze everything that is said to them and they will find all possible ways to resolve the issue.



I took some color code personality quiz on facebook and the result was me being a white personality and the description above is supposedly my personality in a nutshell and for being a short quiz and not really in depth I think it is pretty darn close. My mother mentioned that only thing she did not agree with is I avoid confrontation. If someone pisses me off I will let them know and I won't back down from a fight if provoked. I will avoid confrontation if it involves me being emotionally hurt, I will bottle it up tuck it away and sit on it for the rest of my life. If I know I have to shed a tear to get that confrontation out, forget about it because that is leaving myself way to vulnerable. I know, therapy, you need therapy, you are saying to yourself, but once again having to sit in an office and expose my emotions to some therapist is about as enticing as getting a root canal without medication to numb my mouth.

I am very uncomfortable around extremely emotional people. The kind of people that cry over everything and especially if it is a man. Don't get me wrong I don't mind if a man cries but if he is crying everyday, I am sorry, but I could not handle that. Emotional and moody I recoil from but kindness I do respond to and I don't understand how some people can be so verbally cruel with one another because if I think how I would feel if someone said something cruel to me, I would hold on to it forever, I could not do that to someone.

I am independent and HATE being told what to do, that is where that, "I would rather feel good than be good" statement comes in. When someone lives there life a certain way and they expect you to live your life the same way because that is what is expected I really fight that because I tell myself, how dare you tell me how to run my life, you do things your way, I'll do things my way. The more someone expects something from me the further I will run in the opposite direction. I will respect that person for the choices they have made but my choices are my own and nobody will spell out for me how to do it, I will do it through my own journey.

This quiz is not all me but I think if you were to do a quick outline of me this would be a good starting point. I am stubborn, independent, and emotionally blocked....ahhh...thank you for reading my therapy session this week...come back next week at this time and we can talk about my fear of abandonment :) ..............

Hello World

I suppose I have never noticed or maybe it is a new feature but you can track how many people have looked at your blog, what post was most popular, and the countries where people have viewed your blog. The top three are the UK and China and Germany. What do people in China think of my random pictures and a glimpse into my somewhat boring American life. My vacation pictures seemed to be popular in Germany and my X-rated peanut butter post was popular for the UK it seemed to get a LOT of hits but I think that was random people logging on thinking they were going to see more than a picture of a Reese's peanut butter cup (who knew the Brits were into peanut butter). I more or less started blogging because I enjoy writing though I know my grammar could use some help. I do it for family and friends so they can see what is going on in my life. It is basically my online journal without getting to personal so as not embarrass myself and my family.

So to my intercontinental audience I am a typical "middle america housewife". I am married, have three kids, own a home, have debt, drive an over sized gas guzzling vehicle, I am on the internet to much and watch way to much reality T.V., Believes in God and this country,owns a gun, loves the great outdoors, and last but not least always on diet because I indulge in way to much over processed American cuisine..............but.........

I also want you to know that I am going to college to be a nurse, my goal is to get me a passport and come see your country some day, my family is everything to me, I am LDS, we are struggling like many other Americans right now financially but we know that everything will work out in the end, most Americans are good hearted people, I have dreams, reluctance, fear, and self-doubt, optimism and pessimistic emotions running through me at all times. All of this makes up me...a typical "middle america housewife".................Hello world my name is Michele and welcome to my life