McDonalds, It Can Be Therapeutic!

When we had the twins I decided to stay home, and I was a housewife for a lot of years. I will readily admit that being at home with toddler twins was challenging...and by challenging.....I mean bang your head repeatedly on a spike studded 2X4 challenging.

My days consisted of...

 Blues Clues...... I became very attached to Steve....then Steve went to college....I don't want to talk about it..it was traumatic!

Missing sippy cups that of course had milk in them...to be found three days later with curdled milk in them...oh the horror of that smell. If you have never had a toddler, you have no idea of the importance of the sippy cup. Look, when it comes to the importance of inventions in my book, sippy cups are in the top ten, it is a close second to TiVo and Spanx.

Countless hours of picking up toys that I had just picked up two minutes before. I had a bright idea to buy them a ball pit at some point...worst idea ever!

Hours spent trying to use child psychology to convince two two year olds that they cannot go to preschool until they are potty trained....it all came down to old fashioned bribery...M&M's to be exact....it went something like this..."You go pee in that potty chair and you get chocolate and sugar made into colorful yummy goodness...and you go poop in that same potty and I will give you the whole damn 8 pound bag of colorful yummy goodness."

Countless hours spent agonizing if it is really worth it to load the kids up in their car seats, coats, mittens, and hats to go to the grocery store. "Do they really need milk and bread?" I would ask myself. Now, to the person who has not had a toddler this seems like a stupid question to ponder, but to the person who has had a toddler, this a perfectly legitimate dilemma. See, if I took them to the store, it turned into what felt like an expedition to Dante's inferno and back. At some point in our grocery trip someone would have cried, pooped, or needed a Band-Aid...and is all that worth it for milk...I think not!

Now there was other aspects to being home also...I may or may not have participated in...like....

.... watching the whole T.V. series of Dawson's Creek, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and 7th Heaven....

....Spending a few hours here and there talking to friends on the phone in similar situations...they kept me sane!

......Some days were spent in my PJ's the whole day

.....Countless hours of baking and cooking fun stuff...hence why I gained copious amounts of weight.

...and there were honestly days I did nothing....nothing at all....

So why am I reminiscing about this blip in my life?

I saw a small glimmer of what I looked like back then...in my husband...this last week.

So my schedule is busy...I am gone a lot...my hubby has been playing Mr. Mom. He has been home the last 2 months on workman's comp because of his broken tibia.

I came home after a 12 hour day...it was one of many 12 hour days....

Dinner was burnt...the kids were grounded...he had not attempted to groom himself in a few days....the house was trashed...

I was pissed at first when I walked into this chaos....

I thought.."What the hell, I have been busting my butt all day and I come home to this?"...."What have you been doing all day?"

...I also discovered he ritually watched criminal minds reruns on T.V...wore the same shorts daily... spent a lot of time playing online video games...was trying new recipes and upset that I had not praised a new recipe he made, he vehemently let me know his disappoint in my lack of acknowledging his hard work on this recipe......

it was me...

11 years ago... minus the ponytail and toddler boogers wiped on my clothes.

...all my days of being a "housewife".... and some days...

 I just failed at it...I flopped....I should have been fired some days!

So what did I do...I put my jacket back on...told the kids to get their shoes...asked the husband to change his clothes (remember he has been wearing the same shorts daily).... and get in the car....

We went to McDonald's for dinner...The kids were happy...the husband was happy he was getting out of the house and "mom" was home.....It is not 5 five star dining but in that moment it is what is needed.

The same thing happened on many occasions 11 years ago...Adrian loading us all up in the car...the toddlers were happy, and I was happy I was getting out of the house... and "dad" was home.

This is marriage...marriage with kids.....

 Perfectly imperfect. It is complicated, messy, full of flaws, and lacks five star dining...and....

Some day's we just fail at it...

Some day's we flop on our face...

Some day's we really should be fired....

...and some day's.....

We just need that one person who is willing to takes us to....

.... McDonald's.....

Fork In The Road

There is that time in life when you finally approach that fork in the road and you have to decide which direction you have to go. You take a deep breath and you go ahead and make your turn....you are on a new road and headed hopefully on the right path.....

When the twins were born we made a decision for me to stay home. I always knew that me staying at home  was not a permanent choice... but at the time it seemed to be the best decision for us. The years went by pretty seamlessly and then the economy ran over us with a Mac truck. Job change,  job losses, and a constant battlefield of uncertainty. We decided it was time for me to get back in the work force. I was not going to be gone 40+ hours a week from my family only making 10 dollars or less an hour. I was going to make sure it made economic sense for me to work outside the home. So I went back to school with the intent of getting a degree in nursing.

I worked for a little while when I started school as a CNA, but with Adrian's night job at the time and my job went into the night hours trying to find babysitting on Sunday nights and other nights became a nightmare and put a huge amount of stress on us. We desperately needed the extra income I made so we had to figure out a solution. Adrian went and found another job that was not at night and made more money so I could stay at home for a little longer because we did not have many options at the time. The kids were to young to leave at home by themselves for extended periods and we could not afford day care for three kids.....so we put me working for the time being on the back burner....

So fast forward to Monday morning............

I started my job at a skilled nursing center....

...okay so working is not huge...millions of people do it everyday.....

but for me it was that turn on to a brand new road.......

I have been home with my kids for basically the last twelve years....

but as of Monday I will be working...from here on out....until I guess .....I retire......

It was kind of surreal when I pulled up to the job.....

I am officially now on a new path....

....Now...I just hope I made the right turn in the fork of the road......



( p.s......by 9 am on my first day of the job I was highly questioning this decision...The air conditioning was down, I was wrist deep in poop, and having to contend with aloof coworkers...
...nobody said the road be easy I suppose....)

What I Love About You

February 1st......the month of expressing our love. I thought why not write this month about those I love and what I love about them. I figured I should start with the hubby. In March we will have been married 17 years. Our weekdays are busy, like everyone else, we are all going in different directions. Adrian heads out of town and I seem to be always at the school and the kids are coming and going in the middle of all of it. Friday night I come home from school and the first thing I do is go to Adrian, give him a big kiss on his bald head and a big hug. It is my way of saying, "Hi, I missed you this week".

Seventeen years later and I look forward to the time I have with him, I look forward to just being able to spend a few uninterrupted hours with him. Sometimes we are 50/50 in the relationship some times one of us is stronger than the other so it is 70/30, we always balance each other out somehow. Without a shadow of a doubt he is my best friend.

We are both so stubborn and we bicker and disagree but we seem to let these disagreements be short lived and we both move on and forgive quickly. On occasion we have to remind one another that an apology is owed and we usually give our smirks and eventually say, "I am sorry".

He calms me down, I am a worrier and I seem to be hesitant and pessimistic when life keeps beating us down but he always reminds me that we will make it through better and stronger. We have had a rough few years with a lose of job, benefits, and financial stability. We are surviving, we just get more creative on how to stretch our minimal budget and we know things will get better but this is our trial for now and we deal with it as best as we can.

He is the first to encourage me do something and never forgets to tell me he loves me. If he ever has an opportunity to buy me a gift whether small or large he will, he has never been selfish and will always make sure I have everything I need before he buys for himself.

He loves his girls and I think he is a wonderful example to them on how a man should love his wife. He is the first to say something if he feels they are being disrespectful to me. We always try to stand a united front when it comes to decisions about the kids.

This is the man I married seventeen years ago. I could not predict where we would be back then and I still can't predict where we will be in another seventeen years but at this moment and at this time I am blessed with someone that I truly love with all my soul.......