I am sure most of you have seen in the news the story about the Notre Dame football player that was deceived by an online love interest. Supposedly this online love affair went on for awhile, and then she supposedly died of cancer, but come to find out it was all a lie. It had been another man that he had been talking to for all those years online....she never existed.
There is a show on MTV called "Catfish", and if it is on when you are flipping through channels..it is fascinating. It is directed by a guy who had a online love affair with what he thought was a young beautiful blonde, but come to find out it was a 40 some year old married housewife. This whole process of him finding the truth was documented. He now helps others discover their mysterious online loves, and see if it was who they had been led to believe they had fallen in love with.
From a psychology aspect this show is fascinating to watch. We encounter people, and we collectively move along in this subconscious stream together everyday...but...for some people... to connect to someone..... they choose a faceless world to connect to...and a lot of times present a "false" self...the self they have always wanted to be ..or thought others wanted them to be.
"To thine own self be true".........Shakespeare.....the 1500's .......people presenting themselves in a false context.
The grandeur of the Egyptian "Gods" an their grand pyramids......dated BC....presenting themselves as deity's from the celestial skies...they were human as you and I.....
Is that an inherent human flaw...this need to hide our...authenticate self?
I tease that I am old...I know I have a lot of life to live... and infinite amount to still learn....
but...I will say this...I have learned in my short (young) 37 years...that
I am a who I am.....I am not going to mold myself to accommodate others to make them more comfortable ....
I am okay with my thoughts, my spirituality...I am okay being me...
There are aspects of me that need work..my husband may say I have several aspects..... but they are my flaws.. and I accept those flaws....and thankfully my husband does to ;)....
My daughter asked me the other day why I don't sew. Keep in context that we live in a state where a lot of women are into crafty things...including sewing....I answered with "I don't enjoy it, crafting is not my interest, just like some people don't like to cook, or play sports, or hike up a mountain"....
...and then she said something that spurred this blog post....
...she said....."Is it embarrassing that you don't know how to sew?..."you can pretend you can.".....
*BING*...there it is...don't be your authenticate self...be what others think you should be...
I just patted her on the head and said, "I highly doubt any cares if I sew...at the end of the day those kind of things don't matter...and people will love me for just being me!"
I watch people flounder, and consistently trying to find their authenticate self....
I just want to hold them and say...."Why would you think your authenticate self is not good enough, that is how you were born, that is who you are...that is perfection...and how are you going to beat perfection?"
If I do one thing right as a parent.. I hope I can not stress this enough to my children.....
LIVE...live as nothing but your authenticate self.....
Because that is infinite perfection!
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
No Bowing Out This Time!
When I was a kid I asked for the game Operation every year for Christmas...I never got it. I am not sure why?! It could have been I basically circled the whole jcpenney's catalog as my Christmas wish list... maybe I should have highlighted this game to emphasize the fact I really wanted it.
As an adult this game was given to me as a joke because I never got it as a kid...I was giddy to play it with my own kids.
I opened it, set it all up...the twins were about 4 at the time...I ran down the instructions, and Cheyenne was excited to start this game I had talked up...
It did not go as I planned it out in my head....
See, Utah winters are extremely dry, and static electricity is a norm...you are constantly shocking yourself. We had the game on our floor...Cheyenne touched the edge of the metal that buzzes on the game...it not only buzzed, but it literally shot out blue sparks that looked like a firecracker display on the 4th of July....and it sent a tingling sensation up her arm.
At this point her little four year old eye's are wide and full of fear and maybe slightly electrified...her twin sister ran off in tears.....Cheyenne was shaking like a leaf and has refused since then to play Operation ever again.
Cheyenne's experience with the game Operation has been my experience with diets......
I see something new...I go into with it with grand expectations....
I get fried... I run away crying....
...then go eat a bag of cookies....
The horrible buzzing noise that the game Operation exudes when you fail is what you hear in your head every time you fail to stick out a diet plan.
Something happened this year though...every time I heard that buzz or felt flying blue sparks radiate up my arm...I didn't stop...I did not refuse to play anymore...I rolled the dice and moved on...
This was huge for me!
I began this journey towards the end of January last year and here we are almost a year later. I have done it healthy as I know how. I eat healthy and moderately 3 square meals a day with snacks through out the day. I try to exercise three to five days a week depending on my schedule. I have done this weight loss thing fair and square the old fashioned hard work way. As of now I have lost .......
Before.....at my heaviest this was taken right after having my youngest but it was a similar starting weight when I started a year ago.....close to a size 24...3x shirt....over 250 pounds......
After......picture taken by my youngest on Christmas day....size 12, large shirt (shopping in non plus size stores now!)......under 180 pounds.....
I have done a pic of me in the "Before" shirt back in May..... so I did one tonight impromptu...so excuse the way I look with my natural face, hideous bathroom lighting, and possibly my black bra under the shirt (classy huh!)....but you get the idea of how big that white shirt is now (the youngest is holding out the shirt behind me like a freaking wedding train of extra material!)......My white shirt is the only one I have hung onto in that size...it is good reminder for me. I now have a new bunch of clothes to get rid of...the size I was this last spring is going bye -bye to the thrift stores soon!
I still have about 35 pounds I want to lose. I want to focus on toning and strengthening this year, and working on my arms, upper thighs, and belly....this would be so much easier if I had the money to nip, tuck, and suck it out!
So here I am almost a year later playing this "diet" game...
...and I keep on rolling the dice ready for the next move......
As an adult this game was given to me as a joke because I never got it as a kid...I was giddy to play it with my own kids.
I opened it, set it all up...the twins were about 4 at the time...I ran down the instructions, and Cheyenne was excited to start this game I had talked up...
It did not go as I planned it out in my head....
See, Utah winters are extremely dry, and static electricity is a norm...you are constantly shocking yourself. We had the game on our floor...Cheyenne touched the edge of the metal that buzzes on the game...it not only buzzed, but it literally shot out blue sparks that looked like a firecracker display on the 4th of July....and it sent a tingling sensation up her arm.
At this point her little four year old eye's are wide and full of fear and maybe slightly electrified...her twin sister ran off in tears.....Cheyenne was shaking like a leaf and has refused since then to play Operation ever again.
Cheyenne's experience with the game Operation has been my experience with diets......
I see something new...I go into with it with grand expectations....
I get fried... I run away crying....
...then go eat a bag of cookies....
The horrible buzzing noise that the game Operation exudes when you fail is what you hear in your head every time you fail to stick out a diet plan.
Something happened this year though...every time I heard that buzz or felt flying blue sparks radiate up my arm...I didn't stop...I did not refuse to play anymore...I rolled the dice and moved on...
This was huge for me!
I began this journey towards the end of January last year and here we are almost a year later. I have done it healthy as I know how. I eat healthy and moderately 3 square meals a day with snacks through out the day. I try to exercise three to five days a week depending on my schedule. I have done this weight loss thing fair and square the old fashioned hard work way. As of now I have lost .......
Before.....at my heaviest this was taken right after having my youngest but it was a similar starting weight when I started a year ago.....close to a size 24...3x shirt....over 250 pounds......
After......picture taken by my youngest on Christmas day....size 12, large shirt (shopping in non plus size stores now!)......under 180 pounds.....
I have done a pic of me in the "Before" shirt back in May..... so I did one tonight impromptu...so excuse the way I look with my natural face, hideous bathroom lighting, and possibly my black bra under the shirt (classy huh!)....but you get the idea of how big that white shirt is now (the youngest is holding out the shirt behind me like a freaking wedding train of extra material!)......My white shirt is the only one I have hung onto in that size...it is good reminder for me. I now have a new bunch of clothes to get rid of...the size I was this last spring is going bye -bye to the thrift stores soon!
I still have about 35 pounds I want to lose. I want to focus on toning and strengthening this year, and working on my arms, upper thighs, and belly....this would be so much easier if I had the money to nip, tuck, and suck it out!
So here I am almost a year later playing this "diet" game...
...and I keep on rolling the dice ready for the next move......
Christmas 2012
So Christmas came and went at super sonic speeds. I have ABSOLUTELY enjoyed this Christmas. The last few months have been so chaotic, it was nice to have some down time and reconnect with my family and friends.
Here is some pictures of the our holiday and of course the rest of Chip our Elf.... beginning with Chip using reese's pieces to spell...Santa Says Hi!
Marshmallow fight anyone?
I was down with the flu this day so Kenzie took the pic...Chip left a coloring book
Elves do love syrup
Flirting with Barbie.....
Evil elf was back this night...
Chip went ahead and wrapped him up to go back to the South Pole.
Chip left a special invitation for Makenzie this morning to join him that evening for a special surprise. He was waiting in the car and ready to go for a ride to take in all the Christmas lights around town....and to have some hot cocoa when he got back home.
This Chip adventure got two thumbs up from Makenzie.
Of course we had to include some shenanigans with Makenzie's underwear since it upsets her so much that the Elf is messing with her undies...Chip made a zipline
And he had a blast!
It snowed...well at least a little bit Christmas Eve.....
Christmas Eve at the in-laws
Christmas day.....Santa brought Nexus tablets for the twins ( I have not seen their faces since)....Makenzie got lots of Monster High dolls and dollhouse. I did not get many pictures Christmas day because I was packing for our trip to Idaho the next day....we headed back to the in-laws later to finish opening gifts.
We took off for Idaho the next morning...in a snow storm.....and I will say because the twins had their tablets it was the quietest drive to Idaho we have ever taken........I took a picture of the Snowville exit, I figured it was fitting amongst the blizzard.
Me and my sister know who moms favorite child is....yes....this is her favorite child!
The kids had tons of money to spend that they got for Christmas so we shopped all day Thursday and then us adults went to dinner and a movie. The next day they still had some money to spend so we took off to Boise and spent the day at the mall. My niece Gabby came into town with her boyfriend Jessie and we went out for pizza that night. The next day we spent with my dad and his wife Jodi at Big Al's. We had a great lunch and watched some sports on some "moderately" sized T.V. screens
Then a bowling game that I actually scored over 50...and that is incredible for me
And then played some arcades and games...
and of course won some wonderful prizes....
We ate and ate...and shopped and shopped....and laughed and laughed...we even played some Clue...mom never wins at this game....and....she still has not won.
Here is some pictures of the our holiday and of course the rest of Chip our Elf.... beginning with Chip using reese's pieces to spell...Santa Says Hi!
I was down with the flu this day so Kenzie took the pic...Chip left a coloring book
Elves do love syrup
Evil elf was back this night...
Chip went ahead and wrapped him up to go back to the South Pole.
Chip left a special invitation for Makenzie this morning to join him that evening for a special surprise. He was waiting in the car and ready to go for a ride to take in all the Christmas lights around town....and to have some hot cocoa when he got back home.
This Chip adventure got two thumbs up from Makenzie.
Of course we had to include some shenanigans with Makenzie's underwear since it upsets her so much that the Elf is messing with her undies...Chip made a zipline
And he had a blast!
It snowed...well at least a little bit Christmas Eve.....
Christmas day.....Santa brought Nexus tablets for the twins ( I have not seen their faces since)....Makenzie got lots of Monster High dolls and dollhouse. I did not get many pictures Christmas day because I was packing for our trip to Idaho the next day....we headed back to the in-laws later to finish opening gifts.
We took off for Idaho the next morning...in a snow storm.....and I will say because the twins had their tablets it was the quietest drive to Idaho we have ever taken........I took a picture of the Snowville exit, I figured it was fitting amongst the blizzard.
Me and my sister know who moms favorite child is....yes....this is her favorite child!
The kids had tons of money to spend that they got for Christmas so we shopped all day Thursday and then us adults went to dinner and a movie. The next day they still had some money to spend so we took off to Boise and spent the day at the mall. My niece Gabby came into town with her boyfriend Jessie and we went out for pizza that night. The next day we spent with my dad and his wife Jodi at Big Al's. We had a great lunch and watched some sports on some "moderately" sized T.V. screens
Then a bowling game that I actually scored over 50...and that is incredible for me
And then played some arcades and games...
and of course won some wonderful prizes....
We ate and ate...and shopped and shopped....and laughed and laughed...we even played some Clue...mom never wins at this game....and....she still has not won.
We came home Sunday. It was a great Christmas and I am glad I got to share it with both sides of the family.
Merry Christmas 2012!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)