Thursday, October 27, 2011

24 hours

Children...our hearts...our life...our everything..

Now that I have that out of the way...how 'bout I discuss an example of 24 hours with children! Remember that movie that came out last year 127 hours...really 24 hours as a mom is not much different. Somedays you feel like cutting off your arm with a dull knife so you can escape. You find yourself loosing it and hallucinating like the man stuck in the canyon walls. If we videotaped ourselves daily we really would not act much different than the desperate man in 127 hours wondering if he was going to make it out alive. So here is a glimpse into my 24 hours of being a mom in my house....


7:30 AM- I am tired, I was up late studying and up early studying, and the youngest has a chest cold so her coughing kept waking me up throughout the night. Pre-teens emerge from the basement with the normal morning grumblings. Youngest is staying home from school....I begin my day looking at my to-do list for the day and realize everything on my list is for my children and other people's children.

7:45- Me~ " Kaitlynn, you just want butter on your toast? You don't want any jelly on it?"
         Kaity~"I have cinnamon and sugar on it!"
         Me~ "I don't see anything on there?"
         Kaity~ " I didn't want the cinnamon."
         Me~"So you are eating sugar!"
         Kaity~"Ya......but it is on toast!"

8:00- Given a note that I need to send a treat for Halloween party...will add to my to do list

9:00- Told they have a book report due tomorrow..must make a poster of it...add to do list

9:01- Drive older kids to school because we are running late because they move like molasses in the morning and they will be late if they walk.

9:05- Try to get showered but youngest is home due to chest cold ..she has needs and wants that in her world need to be dealed with right now.....delay shower..

10:00- Youngest has unraveled a whole roll of toilet paper trying blow her nose. Clean up mess

12:00- Holy Crap! Where did my morning go? Still only have a fraction of my list done, still not showered, youngest still needing and wanting right now...put on a hat realizing I am never going to get showered

12:45 Twins home, I leave to run errands that are for my children and others people children.

2:30- Back home...none of the things that I asked them to do while I was gone have been done.....only thing accomplished was eating an entire bag of Dortios.

2:31- I yell!

2:35- I am still yelling....

2:45- Children are doing what I told them to do almost three hours ago...Begin helping with book report.

2:50- Realize I am decorating poster board for book report by myself.

2:55- I yell!

3:00- Child works on her own book report by herself.

3:30-  Halloween activity at church.

4:45- Children still have not done everything I asked them to do on my list....I give up on yelling, they have won the war today...

5:00- Start dinner...load dishes because they have not been done yet ( one of those things on my children's list)....Drain plugged, I reach my hand in to see what it is clogging it...a piece of glass shard..a glass my children broke and did not clean up...finger tip sliced open.

5:05- Bleeding profusely, can't find a bandage because my children use all the bandages within 24 hours of  me purchasing them...have to find emergency first aid kit in the car. ( I have to hide bandages when I buy them because I am not kidding when I say they use all bandages purchased in 24 hours). Children are now aware of the band-aids in the car...they will be gone within 24 hours

5:03- Soup and rolls for dinner...youngest not eating at all? Earlier in the day I picked up a package at the post office from grandma in Idaho...it had Halloween candy in it for all the kids...Makenzie had eaten all of hers....everyone apparently oblivious to the five year old ingesting copious amounts of sugar....

6:05 Shower and bath time for all children..I cannot begin to describe what shower time can be like in our house so I am going to leave it up to Bill Cosby to describe the events, it begins with him sending the kids upstairs and pleading that they just be good...aside from we did not have beatings...we have an "Informant" in our house and all her sentences begin with, "Guess What", and I think I say, " I have had enough" at least three times a night. Enjoy .......





8:00- Youngest in bed

9:00- Twins in bed

12AM- Mom in bed...with dirty dishes in the sink, textbooks sprawled out, laundry piled up by the washing machine, toys and electronic devices scattered throughout the house

7:30 AM- Me~"It is cold this morning, you are going to need your winter coats for the walk to school."
                Cheyenne~"I lost mine, I don't know where it is at."

.....sigh......and a new 24 hour begins

Take it a day at a time Michele....a day at a time.........and I think I will make it out alive even if I have to cut my arm off with a dull knife.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

"Sometimes even I get the "AHA" moment"

I had an "AHA"moment

...or in other words a moment of clarity...a moment where you learn something...a moment when you realize what you are doing WRONG.

My husband had an experience last night that had nothing to do with me but because essentially your spouse is your life whatever happens to your spouse affects you.

In church on Sunday the lesson was about the end of days. It is a subject that everyone has an opinion on, some think it is tomorrow, others believe it won't happen for many lifetimes, and others are somewhere in the middle.

The person who taught the lesson did not use the church manuals to teach the lesson, he brought a binder full of his own literature that reflected his opinion on the subject. My husband and several others in the class questioned a lot of what he said and felt the lesson was not directed by the spirit but by a very questionable opinion of one person.

At one point my husband corrected this gentleman on an historical fact..it had nothing do with theoretical doctrine but actual historical data. The gentleman was wrong with his facts and he was politely corrected by my husband. There were several comments by others as we left church about the lesson and the contention felt in the room, but by Sunday evening it was forgotten and life had moved on...or so we thought.

Tuesday evening there is a knock at our door and it was the gentleman that gave the lesson, he asked my husband to come outside to our porch and proceeded to tell my husband that he had humiliated him by correcting him in class. He felt my husband was mocking him and making fun of him and made him look stupid. Then he took it upon himself as being the leader of this particular class to uninvite my husband to any further classes until my husband goes and speaks to the bishop to be reprimanded for his actions and apologizes to the class.

My husband kindly disagreed with the events of that day and apologized to the gentleman that he felt like he was being mocked  and he kindly agreed to meet with the bishop because he is certain the bishop would like to hear about this incident.

My response was..."WHAT!, are you KIDDING ME!...why didn't you ask him to get off our porch!"....Oh Ya!, I will tell him what I think of him and his binder full of misinformation!"....and I said a lot of other things in between that was not one of my finer moments. You see I have my fathers temper sometimes and I can go from zero to mock speed in a matter of seconds;  I am working on that issue. Anyways, I had myself worked in to a frenzy.

My husband called a friend to see what he remembered about the day and asked if he was mocking or putting him down. His friends recollection was exactly what my husbands was and the friends reaction was the same as mine. My husband stayed relatively calm in the situation because he knew in his heart he had done nothing wrong.

I woke up last night sometime in the middle of the night and my first thought was about this person...I was angry at him. I sat there thinking about how this man had stewed and steamed on this for days and how his being corrected consumed his life so much that he took it upon himself and his authority to basically disinvite somebody from coming to church.....I stewed, I steamed, I became so consumed by this person that I almost took it upon myself to show up on that mans door this morning to tell him.....

"AHA!"....a light finally went off in my head

I was no different than this man.....the person I was so angry at for his reaction was exactly my same reaction........I was being consumed by anger and malicious thoughts and exaggerations in my head.....

In the middle of the night my anger went away...I calmed down...and I slept...I  was no longer consuming myself with another man's anger.

Why would I want to consume myself with anger. Anger is a way of controlling others,  anger comes from judgement, anger comes from selfishness, anger is meant to diminish and put down others, anger eats away at your wellness...... anger is a sin, and I don't want to be associated with any of those things.

I am learning...I learn everyday..some days I  get the "AHA" moment, other days I just sit in oblivion....

.....this time I got the message loud and clear...see Lord sometimes I do listen...

Thank You

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Lesson's Learned

Things I have learned over the past week...

(1)  Life will take me where it supposed to. I cannot foresee the future, but I can lay path before me that will enable me to get to my ultimate destination.

(2) I eat when I am happy, stressed, depressed, content, when I have PMS, bored, anxious...etc....

(3) My winter jeans are to tight because of the above statement.

(4) Some people will always see the world in black and white and they will never realize that there are a lot of colors in between. I feel sorry for those people......

(5) When I focus and don't let life distract me, I can find my scholarly mojo again and be the top grade in my class.

(6) I will always listen to another persons opinion and though I may not agree with them I will always try to be respectful of that opinion.

(7) I may feel like I have a parental "FAIL" everyday, but I will always remember that my children will most likely forget those "fail" moments but they won't forget that I tell them they are beautiful, smart, and I love them everyday.

(8)  I am quickly coming up on my amazing cruise to the Caribbean and though I committed to do exercise and eating healthier I have done the exact opposite because of  number (2) on my list.

(9) I may have a PINTEREST addiction and it is contributing to the tight jean issue because of recipes like this, this, and this.

(10) I don't want to exercise because I think I look like this when  I exercise.

(11) last but not least...my favorite quote of the week that I need to remind myself of daily......

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

What Is My Back Up Plan?

First of all I am not complaining and I don't want it to come across that way....I call this a venting of my frustrations.....venting my uncertainties?

I have been going to school for basically two years now, two and a half by the time I am done with spring semester.

Wait....I can stop and announce this...I have my associates as of  this summer.I going to walk in the graduation ceremony in April. I made no grand announcements or anything but I am announcing it here...I have a college degree, just an associates but it  is a huge stepping stone to my goal....so YAY me!

I have busted my butt to take all the silly required classes, I have cried and complained my way through math courses, I have cut up dead bodies and looked under many microscopes and can tell you the physiology of DNA. I have spent hours in labs, taken numerous tests, written so many papers that I could put them all together and make a novel. I have listened to way to many lectures, and have become good friends with some of the professors and have learned that just because you call yourself a teacher does not mean you can teach.

I have done all this to get into a nursing program. In todays economy and uncertain future I want to make sure my family is taken care of and I know that both of us are going to have to contribute to do this. I decided to go back to school and nursing seemed to be the most logical choice for me. I can not settle for a minimum wage job at my age, I need a career...a career that pays well.

So here is where I vent. Schooling for nursing is in a shortage, especially here in Utah. They have 20 spots open in my school and my school includes all the USU extension campuses and I have to cross my fingers I get in. I have all the requirements covered, I have an excellent GPA ...yet I am competing with numerous others who are just like me. Utah's wait list for the limited amount of schools that offer nursing programs is years....I am 36, I don't have years to wait. Utah has 7 colleges that offer a nursing program....Texas has 75???

Like I said I am not whining or complaining, I know it is a competitive world out there...I am just frustrated that I have done everything that is required and have given 110% percent and I am left with unsureness and in limbo. I really don't have a lot of options if I am not accepted into the program; the program only comes around once every two years and I found out today my back up plan, another school that did not have a wait list, has put a freeze on acceptance into their RN program. I really don't want to spend another two years in school getting a degree in something I have no interest in.

So I am getting my nursing school application ready... I am finishing up a couple of my science courses....I am trying to figure out a back up plan just in case...I am trying to stay positive...

...and I am praying ....for guidance, for choices, for the future....I am praying this was the right choice for my family?

...Texas...75 schools...Utah .....7 schools and long wait lists....

..Texas, I have heard it is a lovely place to live?!........

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Little House On the Prairie Traumatized Me!

I have listed my top romance movies here and my favorite 80's movies here so just for fun and because it is October and Halloween is around the corner lets discuss scary movies. The topic was brought up earlier this week when my husband called into a radio station that was discussing the scariest movies of all time,  My thoughts were I would discuss a few movies that scared the "CRAP" out of me when I was younger and movies that made me scream like a little girl as an adult.

First of all I am putting in an honorable mention because it is not a movie it was a T.V. series and a family series at that...let me show a clip and see if you recognize it......

Remember??? Okay this is a clip from...wait for it...Little House On the Prairie..YES, I said Little House On the Prairie! This episode was about a girl that Albert was in love with and the the girls father was overly concerned about their infatuation with one another and the girl comes up pregnant and everyone blames Albert...well guess what ...NO,Albert wasn't the baby daddy, the girls dad was the baby daddy!

They show the girl walking home through the forest and this creepy man in the mime mask is lurking in the trees and then chases her down and rapes her, and as we learn later in the show it is her dad. WHAT THE HELL! This is a family show..incest, rape, pregnancy....creepy man in a mime mask lurking behind the trees! I walked home by myself from school everyday and I looked for a creepy man in mime mask to jump out behind the trees for years. They rerun Little House on The BYU channel here and if I ever see this episode on I still don't watch it!....it traumatized me!

All right now on to movies that scared me as a kid. A friend in 6th grade gave me a book called Amityville Horror...I read about 4 chapters, put it down and have never tried to read it again. Here is the thing with scary movies and me, the slasher horror pictures shows do not scare me as much as the ones that have potential of being true. Amityville was based on a true story...so it was all real in my head and because it was real it had potential of happening to me .
Still have not watched the original movie all the way through......
and I don't care that this is some of the eye candy in the remake......I still won't watch it!

The next movie once again has potential of being real...HEY! I watch Ghost Hunters and I know poltergeists are real! We watched Poltergeist last year with the twins...they laughed...they thought it was silly, okay it is silly now but when I was young and the T.V. went to snow at the end of the night after the national anthem was played it was SCARY! Anytime you lost signal and the noisy fuzz came on your T.V. you about pooped your pants because you thought for sure something was going to grab you and drag in to the T.V.!

My last childhood picture is a typical slasher film and the original scared me to death. You know what made this film so scary...it was filmed during daylight! Bad guys don't come out in the day, they come out at night with all the other boogity men. See potential of it happening to me....I was latch key kid, I went into an empty house when I came home from school, I was already freaked out because there could have been a creepy man in a mime mask behind a tree ready to grab me and then......Mike Meyers could have been in my house..because Mike Meyers came out during the day AACKKK!

 One more honorable mention.....
 Cujo..... our neighbor had a St. Bernard and it had potential of turning into Cujo...you never know, it could have happened!

As an adult I can rationalize but there is still potential...so really I have not matured at all since childhood!

This movie gave me the creeps...and the second one made me jump a few times and now they have a third one coming out. It is a low budget film and it is has a lot of talking but I think it is one of the most unsettling movies that I have seen as an adult. Meaning, I would not watch this film if I was home alone...because...it has potential of being real!!!!! I watch Ghost Hunters people!

The first time I watched this movie, I did not watch the end....and if you have seen the movie it is really what you have been watching the whole movie for...you want to know what is on that tape! I closed my eyes and watched none of it, by the time I got to the end of the movie I was all worked up and that end was going to put me over the edge. I have since watched the ending and it is not nearly as creepy the second time you watch it but I will give it an A+ for giving me that horror movie experience!


All right...I know this movie does not have potential to happen but I have seen enough zombie movies at this point that in case of Zombie Apocalypse I am well prepared. Anyways, my hands were clammy and my heart raced watching this movie....zombies running fast, blew my mind...and creeped me out. The old zombie movies had the zombies aimlessly wandering...going very slow...that did not scare me! Now zombies that are Olympic sprinters...scares me! I know my Hostess cupcake butt is not out running these zombies.



One more honorable mention....
Insidious.....creepy music, creepy demon......just out and out creepy..and even creepier when you are in a theater with just you and the two people you went with!

Monday, October 3, 2011

A Blast from Halloween's Past!

It is October..YAY! I love fall and the cool air that it brings. In celebration of October I thought I would post pictures of Halloween's past via instagram.....

My all time favorite Makenzie picture..her face sums up her thoughts of being dressed up like a chicken! This picture is proudly framed in our house year round!
I love group pictures of the kids.....if you look carefully, I think there is 3 kids crying...
Still ambivalent to the chicken costume....Makenzie and Morgan, holy crap they have grown up since this picture was taken.
Beautiful, beautiful girls........
All you can see is eye's....
......"You look stupid!"....."No you look stupid!"
C'mere blue...C'mere blue.....We know their love for Blue as expressed in a previous post.

Our first Halloween in Idaho and the first year I took them actual trick or treating. It was about 10 degrees outside and the first house we stopped at they walked right inside and sat down on their couch...they did not understand the concept that we were not staying for a visit.
See...group kids photo and someone was crying!
This costume was perfect because it was a blizzard that year..they could have gone all night.

We have potential crying...I see pouty faces.
...I think I have said this before ...beautiful, beautiful girls!

Grandma with my nieces...where does time go, the kids have grown up so fast. The twins informed me they don't want to go trick or treating this year...sigh....Well at least I still have Makenzie for a few more years.

Oh wait...what?...no one is crying?...whoever was crying must have left before the picture was taken.

And finally last years picture of the kids....

Great memories and good times!

Saturday, October 1, 2011

That "PERSON!"



Angry Birds, Pinterest, and Firefly...what do all these things have in common? They have been my Saturday, a Saturday of laziness! I love those kind of days, days where your hair looks the same as when you woke up, you don't change out of your pajamas, you eat junk food all day, you watch T.V. show marathons,  browse the internet aimlessly, and play stupid games on your phone all day.

But...but......

......you know when you have one of those kind of days someone will inevitably come to your door at lets say about 4 in the afternoon and you are still wearing your P.J.'s, and you have bed head, and potato chip crumbs distributed across your shirt. You don't want to answer the door, you just want to pretend you are not home. You don't want to be that "person"... that "person" that stays in their pajamas all day watching T.V. ! You want to be that "person" that is put together..that has spent their Saturday doing chores, baking cookies, ran a marathon, and washed the car, entertained friends, and has a fabulous night on the town planned....

...not the Dorito eating, science fiction watching, internet browsing person......

Yes...someone came to my door today at about 4 o'clock in the afternoon and I stood in the doorway with my bedhead and P.J.'s and  junk food eating breath . After this visitors departure, I threw my hands in the air and exasperatingly said.......

 "Why does someone inevitably come  to the door on my lazy day!"

I paused....and then I said......

"Hey, pause the T.V...... lets go through the drive thru and get a burger and some fries!"

Lets face it I was that "person" today, I mine as well reach my maximum potential of being that "person" today.....now if you excuse me, I have TiVo and Facebook to get caught up on.........