Psychiatrist Is In

Whites are motivated by peace. Whites will do almost anything to avoid confrontation. They like to flow through life without hassle or discomfort. Feeling good is important to them more than being good.

Whites need kindness. While Whites respond beautifully to thoughtfulness and amiability, they have a strong, silent stubbornness that surfaces when they are treated unkindly. They resent being scolded. They dislike harsh words. They open instantly to people who are kind, but Whites recoil from those who are hostile. They are motivated by kindness-and cannot understand why other people are unkind.

Whites like to keep a low profile. Whites enjoy their quiet independence. What appears to some people as quiet desperation can show itself to be bullheadness. Those who misinterpret the peace loving nature of a White as an invitation to be bossy will soon meet a wall of passive resistance. Whites are tougher than people think.

Whites like to be asked their opinions. They won't volunteer them. They value the respect of others, but they rarely go out of their way to seek it. They need to be coaxed to talk about their skill, hobbies, or interests.

Whites are independent and avoid being controlled. They simply refuse to be under another's thumb, especially when treated without the respect they think they deserve. Whites want to do things in their own way, in their own time. They do not ask much of others, and resent when others demand things from them. They often comply with unreasonable demands to keep the peace. They will only express their anger and frustrations when they can no longer stand being bossed around. Whites do not like to be pushed, and they can be fearsome when they finally "blow up".

Whites make some of the best listeners and will analyze everything that is said to them and they will find all possible ways to resolve the issue.



I took some color code personality quiz on facebook and the result was me being a white personality and the description above is supposedly my personality in a nutshell and for being a short quiz and not really in depth I think it is pretty darn close. My mother mentioned that only thing she did not agree with is I avoid confrontation. If someone pisses me off I will let them know and I won't back down from a fight if provoked. I will avoid confrontation if it involves me being emotionally hurt, I will bottle it up tuck it away and sit on it for the rest of my life. If I know I have to shed a tear to get that confrontation out, forget about it because that is leaving myself way to vulnerable. I know, therapy, you need therapy, you are saying to yourself, but once again having to sit in an office and expose my emotions to some therapist is about as enticing as getting a root canal without medication to numb my mouth.

I am very uncomfortable around extremely emotional people. The kind of people that cry over everything and especially if it is a man. Don't get me wrong I don't mind if a man cries but if he is crying everyday, I am sorry, but I could not handle that. Emotional and moody I recoil from but kindness I do respond to and I don't understand how some people can be so verbally cruel with one another because if I think how I would feel if someone said something cruel to me, I would hold on to it forever, I could not do that to someone.

I am independent and HATE being told what to do, that is where that, "I would rather feel good than be good" statement comes in. When someone lives there life a certain way and they expect you to live your life the same way because that is what is expected I really fight that because I tell myself, how dare you tell me how to run my life, you do things your way, I'll do things my way. The more someone expects something from me the further I will run in the opposite direction. I will respect that person for the choices they have made but my choices are my own and nobody will spell out for me how to do it, I will do it through my own journey.

This quiz is not all me but I think if you were to do a quick outline of me this would be a good starting point. I am stubborn, independent, and emotionally blocked....ahhh...thank you for reading my therapy session this week...come back next week at this time and we can talk about my fear of abandonment :) ..............

It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown!

I am without a scanner at the moment so I can't put pictures from past Halloween's as a post, so instead I will share childhood Halloween memories........

First memory, is not my memory but I find the story funny. Once when my father was young he and his younger brother went trick or treating and someone threw some stuff in his trick or treat bag and claimed it was rare Chinese candy. When he arrived home he realized his Chinese candy was in fact plain ol' white rice. I wonder how many kids received special Chinese candy that night?...What I learned from this story; if someone puts something in my trick or treat bag and claims it something special from a foreign land I am double checking before I leave your front door.

Second memory, is one that children of the late seventies and early eighties can relate to. To be any kind of commercialized character such as my beloved Smurfette you had to buy those plastic hospital gown looking outfits. They tied around the neck and usually had a couple ties in the back and had the characters clothing painted on the front. The masks had a couple holes for the eyes and the nasal area had two teeny tiny holes to breath through. The cold air outside and the warm air being expelled inside the mask produced vast amounts of condensation that made you have to remove the mask so you could...breath...and also to wipe away the pool of water that had collected in the nose of your mask.

Third memory is the houses that you tag as a child as being, the must go to houses, because they always gave out the best candy. First was an elderly couple that lived at the end of the street, the Johnson's, they gave out packs of gum, and I mean a full pack of Wrigley's gum. The house across the street, a doctor, gave out full candy bars. Over to the next block, Idaho Street, the Blacker's and Wolf's were successful business owners in the area and also had a good selection of candy available. In my trick or treating territory there were several other doctors and dentists and they gave everything from new toothbrushes to full candy bars also. A trick my father taught me was to empty your bag half way through because people see an empty bag and have pity on you and give you extra candy. AAHHH...the wisdom that our parents pass on.

Fourth memory, hardly eating any of that Halloween candy. I am not much of a candy eater and picky with the kind of candy bars that I like. I would pick out what I liked (Reese's, Snickers, M&M's) and my mom and sister picked out what they liked and the rest got shoved under my bed for the family dog to find six months later.

Fifth memory. Halloween at school. YES we were able to dress up at school! After lunch we got to change into our costumes and do a parade through the school in our costumes and give out awards for the best costumes. We had tons of treats and bobbed for apples and had LOTS of fun. Kids cannot dress up for Halloween in school anymore because they have taken the FUN out of school!......yup I said it...NO FUN!

Sixth memory, people who actually put signs outside their door banning any solicitation of trick or treater's at their door. REALLY! I saw the first one of these when I was trick or treating with my cousin by my Aunt Jackie's house. Fine, don't want to give out candy than turn out the lights go hide in your room and be the Halloween Grinch but this person had all the lights on including front porch light, inviting trick or treaters to come to their door, and then they post a huge sign basically saying, "I hate children, now go away!" Those kindof people are going to go to hell and their helll is going to be 365 days of Halloween and trick or treater's ringing their doorbell 24 hours a day....AH HA...you can suck it Halloween Grinches!!!

Alright I quess I will stop now...Hope you all have a great Halloween and don't ever be that Halloween Grinch!!!

First wifes opinion

http://www.jillcanblog.com/?p=530

click on the link above and read the story first

I had to laugh out loud when I read the blog that I have linked too because first of all I watch this show faithfully and these are my words pretty much verbatim about the show and just like this women I can't stop watching it. He does have a sports car, and mid-life crisis hair, and has taken on a much prettier younger wife, and I watch in amazement as the other wives sit by and let all this go down. I mentioned in an earlier post I am taking a college English course that is requiring us to do a dangerous debate and because of this show and fascination of the subject and "maybe" on a dare, a fellow student who is also a fan is going to debate the legalization of polygamy. First of all under the guidelines that 12 year olds are not getting married to a 54 year old and they are self supporting and not living off the system. I also want to clarify this person does not want to be a polygamist she is just stating that if this is how these people choose to live then so be it, they are consenting adults and who are we to say no. She made a list of benefits of having several wives around the house to help with all those jobs that come with running a household and it was all done in good humor. Really, could you imagine living in a house with 4 other wives having PMS at the same time as you...I shudder just thinking about it.

When they advertised this show I cringed because I thought, here we go again people are going to think, "Utah, they all are polygamists, I knew it!" Yet, here I am, watching it just like the rest of the country and I am just as fascinated as they are because... FYI.... we all are not polygamist in Utah and most of us don't know any polygamists personally.

So I am contemplating writing my next paper which is a research paper on the repercussions of reality T.V. because lets face it I seem to like reality T.V. and have been known to watch one or two of them in my time. I want to state right now that I do not watch Jersey Shore but I do know who the cast is and the sheer orange glow of "Snookie" and douche bag mentality of "The Situation" makes me urp in my mouth a little.

Do I loss a brain cell or two watching reality T.V?.......probably.....Is it an hour of my life that I won't get back?....probably....Am I contributing to the down fall of our society?...probably ......Do I really care?....probably NOT!

C'mon What Is Your Top Five

So have you ever been sitting around talking with friends and said, "What is your top five best looking men?"...C'mon we have all done it. We ask our spouse we ask our friends because I think first of all we are curious to know what other people find attractive and well we are just curious especially when it comes to our spouses. For example, come to find out my husband seems to like the latino type, Salma Hayek, Sofia Vergara; really he likes brunettes that are curvy, which works out well for me. Now the top 5 list changes and people come and go but it is usually pretty consistent. Dwayne Johnson aka "The Rock"....sigh.....yes I can't say the name without a sigh. He is tall, dark, and handsome with tattoos. I know the tattoo thing is a generational but I am of the generation of tattoos and a find "The Rocks" particularly yummy.

Vin Diesel, I love that voice and that body is...well....nice. See, top two tells you I do like shaved heads, dark features, big, and nice arms. I know nothing about these men but in my head I see these kind of guys as being manly men but know how to be gentle when needed and treat their ladies like gold. I don't like wimpy, passive, timid men. Nothing is more of a turn off than a passive guy to me. I also don't like needy men that are constantly needing reassurance and to be told what to do. It is probably the high testosterone type movies that these guys do that somehow endure me to them even more.

Oh Brad...one of the few blonde's that is hard to resist. I first saw him in Thelma and Louise and have been hooked since. He is and oddity because first of all he is blonde and he is one of the few men that I ever found attractive with long hair, Legends of the Fall.....oh Tristan. He has a great smile and he gets better with age I think. Not only does Angelina have great lips but she also has Brad....some girls have all the luck.......

Gerard Butler. He is one that rotates in out of list but he seems to find his way back in a lot. He is once again a manly man...he oozes manliness. He has a look that is not overly sexy but the more you watch him the more you find yourself being attracted. He is the kind of guy you picture sitting around watching football, having a beer, smoking a cigar, flirty, kinda a ladies man that you are not sure you could ever trust....yup that is Gerard in a nutshell for me.

Okay put the kooky Scientology and the fact he is short in the back of your mind. This movie, this scene, made me realize I truly love men and find them......Delicious! Every girl knows this gratuitous scene of sweaty flesh. Tom Cruise was my childhood celebrity crush and for that reason even if he jumps on Oprah's couch he will always be in my top five.


So ladies...who is your type five? Do you like the suave, sophisticated man; is the artsy, intelligent man your type, or is it the pretty boy that makes every girl and gay man giggle?

C'mon we all have that list.......

Mean Moms

I am currently taking an English course that teaches you how to write college papers such as research and rhetoric papers. It has been interesting and has made me step away from my blog type writing and actually have to write something in depth with hints of intelligence. We are getting ready to begin our process of doing our research paper and I think my topic will be something about capitalism and our economy...ya,ya ...politics, government, corruption...blah, blah, blah...you know what I would really love to focus my research on....."Mean Moms". Have you seen the movie Mean Girls? Well if you have not it is the pack mentality that teenager girls adopt to survive the hell that we call High School. Each girl in the popular "clique" is given a particular personality,the slut; the stupid one, the gossip; and of course the queen bee. I have learned through careful observation that this mentality seems to follow some women out of high school and they continue to carry on this mean girl persona so I have aptly named them "Mean Moms".


You have to observe these moms in their natural habitat like a playground but one of the ideal places to observe these women is at the children's museum. They thrive in this environment. First of all they feel as though because they have purchased an expensive membership to this educational environment it automatically gives them that heir of educational superiority. They have purchased this membership to further their child's vast intelligence so that they can go to kindergarten already understanding the laws of physics. The "Mean Moms" gather together with there whole foods snacks, 300 dollar purses, and 1000 dollar extensions. The clothes vary, it is either really expensive jeans with high heel shoes and chunky jewelery or it is the yoga gear to prove that had just recently worked out with their trainer. The hair has highlights and they always have eyelash extensions and freshly manicured fingers. They discuss their children's overly scheduled activities and how their coaches don't give them enough play time. They gossip about there neighbors and their friends and whatever charity event they are involved in.


There is always a lead mom, the queen bee mom. She is the type A personality with the blackberry out at all times. She dominates the conversation and all eye's revolve around her to see what the next move is. The rest are just followers they are usually wearing clothes that are to young for them and they laugh and enthusiastically agree with everything that the queen bee has to say.


I watch and I think to myself, Why? Why can't they leave high school behind? Are they trying to run for homecoming queen? Why am I observing you? Am I jealous?.........


Well if you know me, the last question is easy to answer, NO! I was never part of clique let alone wanting to be part of one as an adult but isn't it weird even as an adult you feel excluded and secretly know that you would never be accepted to that group and that leaves you with that unsure 15 year old feeling......hmmmm.....


See isn't this so much more fascinating then Capitalism and its impact on the economy.....well I suppose I will go on quietly observing these moms at school events, grocery stores, birthday parties, and playgrounds and wonder if we ever truly outgrow the politics of cliques.

A Pledge To Myself

It is time to focus and get back to my goal of the dreaded word "weight loss". Silly time of year to be focused on weight loss with all the holidays approaching but if I don't I am going to offset all my hard work that I have done this year. Me and my sister in laws set off at the end of February to loose weight. My one sister in law who was blessed with great height and the ability to loose weight much faster than me is looking fab I must say and has reached her goal but I on the other hand had about twice as much as her to loose so it is now time to focus on that second half. I hate talking about weight because honestly aside from some genetic factors my fat butt is my problem and my lack of self-control when eating. I joke about it and laugh about it but I try to not to put myself down because of it. I think all women have their insecurities and certainly mine is weight but I will not put my life on hold because of extra weight. It is so easy as woman to put ourselves down because we are constantly comparing ourselves to other women but as most of us know those women are also comparing themselves to us.

So I have lost 50 pounds so far this year and I have another 50 I would like to loose by March and I know it is obtainable when I focus and don't let things like yummy baked good and fries stand in my way. Food is my addiction admittedly and it is a damn good tasty addiction too. So I am putting out to everyone that I am trying to refocus through the holidays and get back on the bandwagon of trying to exercise and watch what I eat, I am making my fat butt accountable to the worldwide web. So here is my pledge to myself:

I am solemnly swear that I will not eat in excess,

and I will stay away from all that is yummy and easy to access.

I will weigh myself weekly and not be beat myself up

even if the scale tells me to give up.

I will regularly exercise even when my body says no,

I will get on the treadmill come hell or high water I can't say NO.

I will always look in the mirror no matter what I see, and

tell myself that it is okay to be me.