Sunday, June 23, 2013

Weight Loss and A Nod To Those On The Same Journey!

I know I have not written at all life has been a high speed train that lets me off just long enough to stop, take a breath, a potty break, and then right back on the train I go.

So update on my weight loss journey...shall we call it a journey?.... or a back breaking lack of carbohydrates that occasionally makes me crabby expedition.

So I have reached that dreaded plateau I have about 20-25 pounds I still want to lose but by body refuses to give it is hanging on like a fat kid having to give up his last piece of cake. My body is saying screw don't give me cookies....I wont give you a firm a**!

Well...I will be honest also...the last two exercising has been sporadic and I have had more "treats and cheats" than usual...but I have maintained....and dangit.....a girl needs a piece of cheesecake on occasion.

I find moments that I am eating something vegan...doing yoga...and gnashing on hummus ...that even I question who I have thing you know I will stop shaving and move to a commune.

So 100 pounds lost...what is my secret pill? I starving myself? I exercise 6 hours a day?.....nope, nope, nope.........I exercise 3-5 days a week for about 45min- 1 three meals a day and snack throughout the day....that's it......I watch my carb and fat intake and make sure when I do exercise I get my heart rate up...there it weight loss secret.

So Adrian started exercising and dieting with me and is becoming the incredible shrinking man.

 He likes to bike ride...but those clip your feet in the pedal Lance Armstrong type biking. He wants to get a bike for me so we can do it together.....I see the size of the seats on those bikes and I question whether or not my Kim Kardashian size butt can handle it...he thinks it can...I question his theory!...but we will see...I also question whether I can survive his 50 mile bike rides.....I am thinking 20 is sufficient.

 We did do the Dirty Dash together. It is a 10k in the mud, and has military style obstacles. We got through the first obstacles, and then came to a climbing wall...the kind with ropes, and we saw people running past them..... at that moment we decided we were going to do the whole thing....why skip stuff?......we were going to do every obstacle...the whole 10K....because you have the option to skip obstacles and also bow out at the 5k marker. The last 3 miles was awesome, and I am so glad we did it took us less than two hours to finish it all, which was pretty good, figuring with waits, having to stop a couple times to adjust shoes, and get a drink of water, and get through the obstacles. We did a fist bump at the end, we were darn proud of ourselves for doing the whole thing. There was mud in every crevice and inch of my body, but it was well earned, and proof of us getting in there and doing it ALL! We are doing it again in the fall with a group of people and it shall be a blast!

 I mentioned Adrian losing weight and getting in shape, my sister-in-law Becky has been on this weight loss journey also...I am not sure of her exact weight loss but I know it is over a 100 also. Between the two of us we have lost a grown man. She looks amazing and she completely understands my lingering insecurities, and we can talk "diet" foods and tricks. So we headed out last week for a hike. A year ago we would have stopped a 1/4 of the way up and had to have had to head back down. We went for as long as the trail would take us, and though the elevation had us huffing and puffing, we could have done more.

This week I did something that was not strenuous.....but it was more for fun...the Color Me Rad 5k run. I went with my sister-in-laws Becky and Rachel

...I just keep moving...just keep active......just take it day to day...

...with an occasional piece of cheesecake thrown in there.....

...because deep down I am the fat kid not wanting to give up that last piece of cake......


Tree of Life

" Human nature will not flourish, any more than a potato, if it be planted and replanted, for too long a series of generations, in the same worn-out soil. My children have had other birthplaces, and, so far as their fortunes may be within my control, shall strike their roots into unaccustomed earth."
This is on my back, I got it awhile ago, and it is truly a representation of my life and me. I know some of you reading this have judgement of a tattoo in general, I get it, it is not for everyone.... but I suppose the way I look at it is, it is not your body..... so you have nothing to worry about. I do however feel if you are going to get something that is going to be put permanently on your body till death, make sure it is something you really like, and make sure it is of a good quality.
Anyways back to the you ever have those moments where you feel a rut.....repeating life in the same hum drum way. I feel like I had a few years of that, and slowly over time I started making changes. Change is good...right?! Yes, as long as you always remember who you are, and stay rooted in that. 
This tree represents that.... even though I have made vast changes in my life I always stay rooted in my core beliefs. The branches represent family, friends, life changes, and growth. The five birds represent my family and I. I want my children to know that I want them to go, to be, to roam the world, and find happiness wherever they end up in life.
One of those birds is me.....the world is limitless...I have so much to see and learn still.....
......I still have unaccustomed earth to plant my roots in.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Yup, I am still alive!

Sometime in January was my last post. So let me do a quick run down on what has been going on

  • I survived my first year of nursing school
  • I survived my first year of nursing school
  • I survived my first year of nursing school
  • I may be a little less sane
  • I survived my first year of nursing school
  • My eyes have seen things that cannot be unseen
  • I survived my first year of nursing school
  • I am still married and celebrated 19 years in March
  • I survived my first year of nursing school
  • My children are alive and only slightly traumatized from my absence the last 9 months
  • I survived my first year of nursing school
  • Somehow I lost over 30 pounds through my first year of nursing school
  • I am still employed and some weeks I was there more than home
  • I am HAPPY, HEALTHY, and a little WISER
  • I survived my first year of nursing school!

There it is! My life in a nutshell the last few months....

HOMEWORK, SCHOOL, WORK, HOUSEWORK...a looping circle that felt like at times an acid trip, 70 hour weeks.....I felt disconnected at times, not present, but somehow floating through what needed to get done.

I need to take my LPN exam, and then I can start working as an LPN at the center I work at....nervous.... but I know I will it pass it.

I am looking forward to some much needed down time. So let me do a quick run down on what I plan on doing this summer.

  • Sleep
  • Rest
  • Play
  • Work



Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Authentic Self

I am sure most of you have seen in the news the story about the Notre Dame football player that was deceived by an online love interest.  Supposedly this online love affair went on for awhile, and then she supposedly died of cancer, but come to find out it was all a lie. It had been another man that he had been talking to for all those years online....she never existed.

There is a show on MTV called "Catfish", and if it is on when you are flipping through is fascinating. It is directed by a guy who had a online love affair with what he thought was a young beautiful blonde, but come to find out it was a 40 some year old married housewife. This whole process of him finding the truth was documented. He now helps others discover their mysterious online loves, and see if it was who they had been led to believe they had fallen in love with.

From a psychology aspect this show is fascinating to watch. We encounter people, and we collectively move along in this subconscious stream together everyday...but...for some people... to connect to someone..... they choose a  faceless world to connect to...and a lot of times present a "false" self...the self they have always wanted to be ..or thought others wanted them to be.

"To thine own self be true".........Shakespeare.....the 1500's .......people presenting themselves in a false context.

The grandeur of the Egyptian "Gods" an their grand pyramids......dated BC....presenting themselves as deity's from the celestial skies...they were human as you and I.....

Is that an inherent human flaw...this need to hide our...authenticate self?

I tease that I am old...I know I have a lot of life to live... and infinite amount to still learn....

but...I will say this...I have learned in my short (young) 37 years...that

I am a who I am.....I am not going to mold myself to accommodate others to make them more comfortable ....

I am okay with my thoughts, my spirituality...I am okay being me...

There are aspects of me that need husband may say I have several aspects..... but they are my flaws.. and I accept those flaws....and thankfully my husband does to ;)....

My daughter asked me the other day why I don't sew. Keep in context that we live in a state where a lot of women are into crafty things...including sewing....I answered with "I don't enjoy it, crafting is not my interest, just like some people don't like to cook, or play sports, or hike up a mountain"....

...and then she said something that spurred this blog post....

...she said....."Is it embarrassing that you don't know how to sew?..."you can pretend you can.".....

*BING*...there it is...don't be your authenticate what others think you should be...

I just patted her on the head and said, "I highly doubt any cares if I the end of the day those kind of things don't matter...and people will love me for just being me!"

I watch people flounder, and consistently trying to find their authenticate self....

I just want to hold them and say...."Why would you think your authenticate self is not good enough, that is how you were born, that is who you are...that is perfection...and how are you going to beat perfection?"

If I do one thing right as a parent.. I hope I can not stress this enough to my children..... as nothing but your authenticate self.....

Because that is infinite perfection!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

No Bowing Out This Time!

When I was a kid I asked for the game Operation every year for Christmas...I never got it. I am not sure why?! It could have been I basically circled the whole jcpenney's catalog as my Christmas wish list... maybe I should have highlighted this game to emphasize the fact I really wanted it.

As an adult this game was given to me as a joke because I never got it as a kid...I was giddy to play it with my own kids.

I opened it, set it all up...the twins were about 4 at the time...I ran down the instructions, and Cheyenne was excited to start this game I had talked up...

It did not go as I planned it out in my head....

See, Utah winters are extremely dry, and static electricity is a are constantly shocking yourself. We had the game on our floor...Cheyenne touched the edge of the metal that buzzes on the not only buzzed, but it literally shot out blue sparks that looked like a firecracker display on the 4th of July....and it sent a tingling sensation up her arm.

At this point her little four year old eye's are wide and full of fear and maybe slightly electrified...her twin sister ran off in tears.....Cheyenne was shaking like a leaf and has refused since then to play Operation ever again.

Cheyenne's experience with the game Operation has been my experience with diets......

I see something new...I go into with it with grand expectations....

I get fried... I run away crying....

...then go eat a bag of cookies....

The horrible buzzing noise that the game Operation exudes when you fail is what you hear in your head every time you fail to stick out a diet plan.

Something happened this year though...every time I heard that buzz or felt flying blue sparks radiate up my arm...I didn't stop...I did not refuse to play anymore...I rolled the dice and moved on...

This was huge for me!

I began this journey towards the end of January last year and here we are almost a year later. I have done it healthy as I know how. I eat healthy and moderately 3 square meals a day with snacks through out the day. I try to exercise  three to five days a week depending on my schedule. I have done this weight loss thing fair and square the old fashioned hard work way. As of now I have lost ....... my heaviest this was taken right after having my youngest but it was a similar starting weight when I started a year ago.....close to a size 24...3x shirt....over 250 pounds......

After......picture taken by my youngest on Christmas day....size 12, large shirt (shopping in non plus size stores now!)......under 180 pounds.....

I have done a pic of me in the "Before" shirt back in May..... so I did one tonight excuse the way I look with my natural face, hideous bathroom lighting, and possibly my black bra under the shirt (classy huh!)....but you get the idea of  how big that white shirt is now (the youngest is holding out the shirt behind me like a freaking wedding train of extra material!)......My white shirt is the only one I have hung onto in that is good reminder for me. I now have a new bunch of clothes to get rid of...the size I was this last spring is going bye -bye to the thrift stores soon!

I still have about 35 pounds I want to lose. I want to focus on toning and strengthening this year, and working on my arms, upper thighs, and belly....this would be so much easier if I had the money to nip, tuck, and suck it out!

So here I am almost a year later playing this "diet" game...

...and I keep on rolling the dice ready for the next move......

Christmas 2012

So Christmas came and went at super sonic speeds. I have ABSOLUTELY enjoyed this Christmas. The last few months have been so chaotic, it was nice to have some down time and reconnect with my family and friends.

Here is some pictures of the our holiday and of course the rest of Chip our Elf.... beginning with Chip using reese's pieces to spell...Santa Says Hi!

Marshmallow fight anyone?

I was down with the flu this day so Kenzie took the pic...Chip left a coloring book

Elves do love syrup
Flirting with Barbie.....

Evil elf was back this night...

Chip went ahead and wrapped him up to go back to the South Pole.

Chip left a special invitation for Makenzie this morning to join him that evening for a special surprise. He was waiting in the car and ready to go for a ride to take in all the Christmas lights around town....and to have some hot cocoa when he got back home.

This Chip adventure got two thumbs up from Makenzie.

Of course we had to include some shenanigans with Makenzie's underwear since it upsets her so much that the Elf is messing with her undies...Chip made a zipline

And he had a blast!

It snowed...well at least a little bit Christmas Eve.....

Christmas Eve at the in-laws


Christmas day.....Santa brought Nexus tablets for the twins ( I have not seen their faces since)....Makenzie got lots of Monster High dolls and dollhouse. I did not get many pictures Christmas day because I was packing for our trip to Idaho the next day....we headed back to the in-laws later to finish opening gifts.

We took off for Idaho the next a snow storm.....and I will say because the twins had their tablets it was the quietest drive to Idaho we have ever taken........I took a picture of the Snowville exit, I figured it was fitting amongst the blizzard.

Me and my sister know who moms favorite child is....yes....this is her favorite child!

The kids had tons of money to spend that they got for Christmas so we shopped all day Thursday and then us adults went to dinner and a movie. The next day they still had some money to spend so we took off to Boise and spent the day at the mall. My niece Gabby came into town with her boyfriend Jessie and we went out for pizza that night. The next day we spent with my dad and his wife Jodi at Big Al's. We had a great lunch and watched some sports on some "moderately" sized T.V. screens

Then a bowling game that I actually scored over 50...and that is incredible for me

And then played some arcades and games...

and of course won some wonderful prizes....

We ate and ate...and shopped and shopped....and laughed and laughed...we even played some never wins at this game....and....she still has not won.

We came home Sunday. It was a great Christmas and I am glad I got to share it with both sides of the family.
Merry Christmas 2012!