These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things!

Favorite religious Christmas song: Silent Night, song makes me tear up every time.

Favorite non-religious Christmas Song: Christmas Song sung by Nat King Cole....chestnuts roasting on an open fire...jack frost nipping at your nose.........

Least favorite Christmas song: Christmas shoes...Hate! Hate! That song, Christmas music should not be depressing and that song is well....depressing! I call it the Jesus shoes song and I change the radio station when it comes on.

Favorite holiday treat: Magic cookie bars...that yummy layer of graham crackers, butter, sweetened condensed milk, chocolate chips and coconut all baked together into yummy yummness! Seriously I don't make them the rest of the year because it just would not be good for my health.

Least Favorite treat: I am sorry folks but fudge..just plain ol' chocolate fudge. I am my dad's daughter when it comes to fudge, I do not enjoy it at all. I would say any kind of divinity candy is a close second...blech, divinity!

Favorite holiday movie: This is hard My top three are Christmas Story, Christmas Vacation, and Elf. I watch these movies repeatedly through the holidays and never get tired of them.

Least Favorite Holiday movie: Okay so I feel like I can say this because I know a lot of people don't enjoy the Christmas Story as much as I do but I am not a huge fan of Its a Wonderful Life. I love Jimmy Stewart but I have seen the movie a couple times and I am fine with not seeing again. Its a personal thing, the show kinda annoys me. I want humor, and that show does not provide me with that comic relief.....

Favorite childhood present from Santa: Cabbage Patch doll. Edna Christabella was her name and she had red hair. I loved that doll! She went everywhere with me. She smelled like baby powder, and her hair was in pig tails, and I still have her in box packed away for safe keeping....like the movie Toy Story, she was my Woody doll.

Favorite Christmas story/book: The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. I love reading that book, I love Dr. Seuss. It would not be a Christmas without mention of the Grinch.

I also love eggnog, shopping for stockings, Temple Square Christmas lights, and I love Christmas Eve night, when the kids have gone to bed, there is a certain peace in the house, a peace that represents Christmas....the peace of Christmas, what a wonderful thing.

Do You See What I See?

Don't you remember that pure anticipation of Santa coming to visit? From Thanksgiving till December 25th Santa is all that plagued your mind when you were child. You believe with all your soul that this man knows everything about you and though he didn't always bring you what you wanted you seemed to get over it and look forward to the next year.

I know that when it comes to this time of year you want to make sure that your child understands the true meaning of Christmas. It is a time to celebrate our Savior's birth and to take the time to remember what a gracious gift we were given, and his birth is forever proof of the love that God has for us.

I know people think we get lost amongst the presents and the commercialized bustle but I don't necessarily believe that is all true....

I see children waiting for a man that loves all children, a man who is gentle and caring, a man who sees and hears all things, a man who gives....does this man not have the same qualities that our Savior has?

I see a time of year that we all stop and take the time to be with our family and friends. We want to spend time with those that are important to us. We come together and carry on traditions and make new traditions.... What could be more important to our Savior but to see the unity of families?

I see a time of year that most of us take the time to remember our neighbors and those who may be less fortunate than us. We want others to have what we have and give as best as we can. It also this time of year you see miracles and the true goodness of our fellow man....Don't you think the Savior feels these miracles?

I see the eye's of my four year old when she sees Santa and the quiet excitement of my twins and it warms my heart. It is such and innocent and pure love the kind of love that represents everything that our Savior is.

That is what I see at Christmas; I see love, family, tradition, joy, and giving. When I am up to my elbows in gift wrap, candy canes, baking goods, and crowded stores I will never forget the true meaning of Christmas.

It's a Wonderful Life...Sometimes!

Do you remember the scene in, Its a Wonderful Life, when George comes home after learning 8,000 dollars in cash has been lost and he will have to replace it. The house is chaos; one kid is sick, one kid is playing christmas songs on the piano, and kids are running everywhere; then George looses it, and yells at everyone, and storms out the door. Well I am not jumping off a bridge like George, but sometimes as a parent you just want to yell, you want to unleash, and storm out the door like George Bailey.

This time of year brings out a demon inside of children;"The Holy Crap, It is Almost Christmas So I Must Be Obnoxious Demon". It manifests itself into uncontrollable hyperness, constant wrestling, and well I will just say it, it turns children into full on s@#theads! This Christmas demon turns us parents into a sneering christmas ogre's who plead for Christmas day to come as fast as it can so the demon can be finally exorcised from our childrens' body.

I have one child practicing Jingle Bells on the piano while the other one is blowing into a recorder that is whistling a high pitch tune. The youngest is running circles around them while singing a non-coherent Christmas melody at her normal loud volume. They stop this brain piercing activity long enough to yell at each other because they feel the other is playing some note wrong. Then they begin making up their own songs, such as my favorite, "I'm gonna put my butt on you", sung to a slight blues melody and of course the grand finale is someone putting their butt on someone which leads to minutes of uncontrollable laughing.

I use the "Santa" threat; you know the one, you are getting nothing from Santa if you keep this up. They just look at me with disinterest and figure it is mom just being her usual ogre self and that "Santa" guy should put me on the naughty list for my George Bailey tirades.

Here is what I think, I don't think that every time a bell rings an angel gets its wing...... I think every time a bell rings..... another parent has lost their mind...That is where the song, "I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day" comes from..all parents have lost their mind by Christmas day. Now if you please excuse me I think I hear a ringing in my ears.......

"I Have Flies In My Tummy"

Every year after Christmas I go to Barnes and Noble and sift through their discounted children's christmas books. I usually buy one or two of them and put them away for the next year. At this point I have a pretty good stack of them, and I only pull them out at Christmas. When I begin to pull out christmas decorations that is the first thing the kids go looking for, and all through the holidays they sit and read these books.

Our bedtime routine with Makenzie goes as follows; give everyone a hug goodnight and tell them you love them; go potty, brush your teeth, and of course get that drink of water; find her beloved blankie, then she is tucked in bed and I always read her bedtime story. She is particularly excited now for bedtime stories because there is christmas books to read and they all involve that wonderful "Santa Dude".

The other night as we finished up, Twas the Night Before Christmas, she whispered in my ear, "I am so excited for Christmas, my tummy has flies in it". Let me interpret four year old language, she means, she has butterflies in her stomach.

Right there at that moment I wanted to take all that childhood excitement that was oozing out of her and bottle it. I wanted to forever remember her words, her emotions, her pure childhood happiness. Though it was just a brief moment of my day it was a brief moment that I wish I could replay and watch anytime I wanted.

The kids all are growing up so quick. The twins are changing into teenagers before my eye's and I see Makenzie growing just as fast...some days I just want it to slow down a little bit so I can forever remember all those brief little moments...............

Oh Tannenbaum

Merry "soon" to be Christmas. Yup, it is right around the corner and I still have 90% of my Christmas shopping to do, but my tree and decorations are done, so that should count for something.This is a picture from last year and it is decorated the same this year with a few different decorations added to the mix. I want to discuss my OCD tendencies that I have with my Christmas tree and whom I blame these OCD tendencies for.

I blame my father for this one, I said it, my father, not my OCD riddled mother. My father has a philosophy about putting christmas lights on a tree, you should squint, and if there is a lot of blank spots, meaning without light, then you do not have enough lights on your tree. So 6 hours later 1,000 plus strings of lights and vast amounts of squinting I finally have enough lights on my tree. Finding a tree growing up was one of the few times my father shopped around, we had to touch the tree, shake the tree, look for fullness and density, and once all these criteria were met did we finally purchase a tree. Then he commenced to pulling out a huge box of lights that took hours of untangling and wrapping meticulously around the tree until perfection was met. The one difference is we had real tree's growing up but I don't have a green thumb and somehow cannot keep a tree alive so I use a fake tree to keep my sanity. I shopped and shopped until I found the right fake tree. It is big, dense and bushy and not pre-lit because pre-lit tree's do not fill my OCD light quota. I am kinda a light Nazi, I want only light perfection on my tree.

The ornament arrangement does not necessarily come from my father but because he is creative an artistic he believes there has to be a certain art and logic to the tree and I do follow in his footsteps on that one. I stick with three colors, red, white, silver and they are arranged just such on the tree, In certain pattern and randomness that makes it look cohesive. I know, we have discussed this before, I need therapy. Our tree growing up had homemade ornaments that were made from previous Christmas Eve parties (our Christmas eve parties were a tradition that involved food, music, pinatas , family, friends and a lot of booze) so because of the "booze" a lot of interesting ornaments were made. Our tree was always beautiful and everyone always looked for their ornament that they contributed the year before, if they remembered because of the "booze" that they made an ornament.

My OCD flaw is on display in my front window. All of my neurotic tendencies glowing hues of white and red for the world to see. Yes, I blame my father, but when people slow down in their car to look in my front window, and when people stop me in our small town and say, your tree is beautiful, I smile and think to myself...... thank you dad.

P.S. I do let my children decorate a downstairs tree, it is all theirs, they can decorate it any way they want and I promise I do not "Tree Nazi" them...but maybe just maybe one of them is watching and learning from me and they will carry on the OCD tree.....

Thank You

A day of gluttony, family, football, and the countdown to Christmas. We do Thanksgiving at my in-laws and like most families we always have enough to feed the neighborhood. I enjoy turkey and all the trimmings, and though I am plenty full, I always make me a turkey sandwich later that night. The days that follow Thanksgiving are a blur of garland, christmas lights, and ornaments, and the task of making sure all are accounted for on the christmas list. Before the tinsel and jingle bells, and finals at school over take my life, I want to take a minute on the week of this Thanksgiving holiday and say what I am grateful for:

My husband, after almost 17 years of marriage it still never ceases to amaze me how much I can love someone so much.

My kids, they teach me everyday how to be a better person. Their unconditional love, amazing beauty, and innocence prove that I am truly blessed.

For my family; my mother, whom I wish I had half her strength, wisdom, and faith. My father, for his humor, stories, and love. My sister, for her inner and outer beauty that always leaves me in awe.

My in-laws and family; I feel funny calling them in-laws because I feel like they have always been part of my life and they have always been my family. I tease Adrian that if he ever decided to leave me I get his family in the divorce...I think that is completely fair :)......

My small town that I live in. This town is a rare community that takes care of those that live in it. The people that live here are incredible and I am glad that I have gotten to know so many of them over the years.

My education, I have been out of school for close to 20 years, and to have the opportunity to go back to school has been a treasure. I will graduate next year so I can move on to nursing school and I look forward to the adventure.

This country, Though it has faults and things that are broken, to me is the most amazing country on this continent. I am proud to be an American and for the fundamental ideas that this country was built upon.

My faith, It comforts me at my worst times and uplifts me at my best of times. My faith shows me where I came from, why I am here, and where I am going and I am forever thankful for the blessings that I have been given.


So many things to be grateful and thankful for......may all of you have a Happy Thanksgiving!

I Will Be With You Till We Meet Again

I went to a funeral yesterday. She was a neighbor of ours and though I did not know her really well or as long as most of those in our town, I did know her well enough that I felt I needed to go and pay my respects. She was always kind to me and for awhile we shared the church duty of providing food for relief society events. She had a great smile and her laugh made me laugh and she had a sweetness about her that reminded of my dear Aunt Wanda. As a listened to her friends and family share stories of her I was reminded of funerals I had been to, and how each has a certain impact on your life.

I remember my grandpa Howell's funeral, I was in 4th grade and it was my first experience with death that I could remember. It seemed like one day he was fine and the next day he was sick and than no longer with us. As a kid it was hard to process how someone could go so quickly but as an adult you are thankful that he did not suffer for a long period. He was a significant part of our life growing up and his dying made me process grief. It was a learning curve that we all experience in our life.

My grandmother Beck's death was not like my grandpa Howell's. Viv had been sick for a long time and when she passed away it was a relief that she was no longer in pain. As a family we have a lot of Viv stories, some good and some not so good. Coming from my point of view and my experience as Viv's granddaughter, she was always kind to me and I knew she loved me very much. She was a woman that could be cruel with those around her but for some reason she had a bond to me, and never once was she cruel to me, and all she ever gave me was unconditional love. I wish she could have been that way with others around her but I am thankful and grateful that I got to experience that side of her. At her funeral I remember touching her hand and saying quietly under my breath, " I hope you find the peace that I don't think you had here; thank you for your love."...I hope she has found peace.

My dear sweet Auntie Wanda. A woman that made you happy just being in her presence. Her death was also a sudden one. I dreaded going to the viewing because I did not know how I was going to deal with her no longer being here. When I saw her, all that anxiety went away, she was a unique soul that was so full of life, and her soul had moved on to a much better place. It was her body in the casket but everything that was Wanda, that unique soul, was no longer there so it was as though I was looking at a stranger. When I came back sometime later and visited where she had lived for all the years I had known her, that is where I felt her soul, that is where I heard her laugh and felt that precious presence of hers.

There has been other deaths and funerals along the way and they all have some kind of impact in some way. Yesterday I took the time to remember a sweet woman's life, there was laughter and tears and a peace felt throughout the room. Yesterday I remembered all of those who have passed on in my life and I am grateful for the time I did have with them. Like the church hymn says and I believe to be true ; I will be with you till meet again.

A Letter To You

"As we live on earth we must walk in faith, nothing doubting. When the journey

becomes seemingly unbearable, we can take comfort in the words of the Lord:

"I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will heal thee." Some

of the healing may take place in another world. We may never know why some

things happen in this life. The reason for some of our suffering is known only to

the lord."~ James E. Faust

This mortal life that we are traveling through is a journey that is filled with love, sorrow, knowledge, pain, and hope and somehow through all these things we hang on to this thing called faith. A belief and trust in an idea and a person that can't be scientifically, logically, or tangibly proven yet it is as much part of us as our physical bodies. Once we begin to doubt faith, anxiety, and fear begins to over take our life. Faith is more than just believing, you have to live it and let it guide you through your highest points and let it over take you at your lowest points. We wake up everyday to the unknown and without faith to lead us we would be lost.

What a wonderful instinct we have been given, a gift that helps us to be steady and strong when logically we should be crumbling and giving up. I have faith that my love for my spouse will never waiver, I have faith my children will have amazing journey's of their own, I have faith that I will never abandon my spiritual belief, I have faith that my education will give me unlimited opportunities.

It is this time of year that we take the time to express what we are grateful for; it is this time of year that we feel financial stresses and burdens; it is this time of year we have to deal with a labyrinth of family complexities. It is also this time of year that we begin to look at a new year approaching and somehow instinctively we look forward to our unknown journey because we have this thing called..... faith.

Sincerely, Michele

Psychiatrist Is In

Whites are motivated by peace. Whites will do almost anything to avoid confrontation. They like to flow through life without hassle or discomfort. Feeling good is important to them more than being good.

Whites need kindness. While Whites respond beautifully to thoughtfulness and amiability, they have a strong, silent stubbornness that surfaces when they are treated unkindly. They resent being scolded. They dislike harsh words. They open instantly to people who are kind, but Whites recoil from those who are hostile. They are motivated by kindness-and cannot understand why other people are unkind.

Whites like to keep a low profile. Whites enjoy their quiet independence. What appears to some people as quiet desperation can show itself to be bullheadness. Those who misinterpret the peace loving nature of a White as an invitation to be bossy will soon meet a wall of passive resistance. Whites are tougher than people think.

Whites like to be asked their opinions. They won't volunteer them. They value the respect of others, but they rarely go out of their way to seek it. They need to be coaxed to talk about their skill, hobbies, or interests.

Whites are independent and avoid being controlled. They simply refuse to be under another's thumb, especially when treated without the respect they think they deserve. Whites want to do things in their own way, in their own time. They do not ask much of others, and resent when others demand things from them. They often comply with unreasonable demands to keep the peace. They will only express their anger and frustrations when they can no longer stand being bossed around. Whites do not like to be pushed, and they can be fearsome when they finally "blow up".

Whites make some of the best listeners and will analyze everything that is said to them and they will find all possible ways to resolve the issue.



I took some color code personality quiz on facebook and the result was me being a white personality and the description above is supposedly my personality in a nutshell and for being a short quiz and not really in depth I think it is pretty darn close. My mother mentioned that only thing she did not agree with is I avoid confrontation. If someone pisses me off I will let them know and I won't back down from a fight if provoked. I will avoid confrontation if it involves me being emotionally hurt, I will bottle it up tuck it away and sit on it for the rest of my life. If I know I have to shed a tear to get that confrontation out, forget about it because that is leaving myself way to vulnerable. I know, therapy, you need therapy, you are saying to yourself, but once again having to sit in an office and expose my emotions to some therapist is about as enticing as getting a root canal without medication to numb my mouth.

I am very uncomfortable around extremely emotional people. The kind of people that cry over everything and especially if it is a man. Don't get me wrong I don't mind if a man cries but if he is crying everyday, I am sorry, but I could not handle that. Emotional and moody I recoil from but kindness I do respond to and I don't understand how some people can be so verbally cruel with one another because if I think how I would feel if someone said something cruel to me, I would hold on to it forever, I could not do that to someone.

I am independent and HATE being told what to do, that is where that, "I would rather feel good than be good" statement comes in. When someone lives there life a certain way and they expect you to live your life the same way because that is what is expected I really fight that because I tell myself, how dare you tell me how to run my life, you do things your way, I'll do things my way. The more someone expects something from me the further I will run in the opposite direction. I will respect that person for the choices they have made but my choices are my own and nobody will spell out for me how to do it, I will do it through my own journey.

This quiz is not all me but I think if you were to do a quick outline of me this would be a good starting point. I am stubborn, independent, and emotionally blocked....ahhh...thank you for reading my therapy session this week...come back next week at this time and we can talk about my fear of abandonment :) ..............

It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown!

I am without a scanner at the moment so I can't put pictures from past Halloween's as a post, so instead I will share childhood Halloween memories........

First memory, is not my memory but I find the story funny. Once when my father was young he and his younger brother went trick or treating and someone threw some stuff in his trick or treat bag and claimed it was rare Chinese candy. When he arrived home he realized his Chinese candy was in fact plain ol' white rice. I wonder how many kids received special Chinese candy that night?...What I learned from this story; if someone puts something in my trick or treat bag and claims it something special from a foreign land I am double checking before I leave your front door.

Second memory, is one that children of the late seventies and early eighties can relate to. To be any kind of commercialized character such as my beloved Smurfette you had to buy those plastic hospital gown looking outfits. They tied around the neck and usually had a couple ties in the back and had the characters clothing painted on the front. The masks had a couple holes for the eyes and the nasal area had two teeny tiny holes to breath through. The cold air outside and the warm air being expelled inside the mask produced vast amounts of condensation that made you have to remove the mask so you could...breath...and also to wipe away the pool of water that had collected in the nose of your mask.

Third memory is the houses that you tag as a child as being, the must go to houses, because they always gave out the best candy. First was an elderly couple that lived at the end of the street, the Johnson's, they gave out packs of gum, and I mean a full pack of Wrigley's gum. The house across the street, a doctor, gave out full candy bars. Over to the next block, Idaho Street, the Blacker's and Wolf's were successful business owners in the area and also had a good selection of candy available. In my trick or treating territory there were several other doctors and dentists and they gave everything from new toothbrushes to full candy bars also. A trick my father taught me was to empty your bag half way through because people see an empty bag and have pity on you and give you extra candy. AAHHH...the wisdom that our parents pass on.

Fourth memory, hardly eating any of that Halloween candy. I am not much of a candy eater and picky with the kind of candy bars that I like. I would pick out what I liked (Reese's, Snickers, M&M's) and my mom and sister picked out what they liked and the rest got shoved under my bed for the family dog to find six months later.

Fifth memory. Halloween at school. YES we were able to dress up at school! After lunch we got to change into our costumes and do a parade through the school in our costumes and give out awards for the best costumes. We had tons of treats and bobbed for apples and had LOTS of fun. Kids cannot dress up for Halloween in school anymore because they have taken the FUN out of school!......yup I said it...NO FUN!

Sixth memory, people who actually put signs outside their door banning any solicitation of trick or treater's at their door. REALLY! I saw the first one of these when I was trick or treating with my cousin by my Aunt Jackie's house. Fine, don't want to give out candy than turn out the lights go hide in your room and be the Halloween Grinch but this person had all the lights on including front porch light, inviting trick or treaters to come to their door, and then they post a huge sign basically saying, "I hate children, now go away!" Those kindof people are going to go to hell and their helll is going to be 365 days of Halloween and trick or treater's ringing their doorbell 24 hours a day....AH HA...you can suck it Halloween Grinches!!!

Alright I quess I will stop now...Hope you all have a great Halloween and don't ever be that Halloween Grinch!!!

First wifes opinion

http://www.jillcanblog.com/?p=530

click on the link above and read the story first

I had to laugh out loud when I read the blog that I have linked too because first of all I watch this show faithfully and these are my words pretty much verbatim about the show and just like this women I can't stop watching it. He does have a sports car, and mid-life crisis hair, and has taken on a much prettier younger wife, and I watch in amazement as the other wives sit by and let all this go down. I mentioned in an earlier post I am taking a college English course that is requiring us to do a dangerous debate and because of this show and fascination of the subject and "maybe" on a dare, a fellow student who is also a fan is going to debate the legalization of polygamy. First of all under the guidelines that 12 year olds are not getting married to a 54 year old and they are self supporting and not living off the system. I also want to clarify this person does not want to be a polygamist she is just stating that if this is how these people choose to live then so be it, they are consenting adults and who are we to say no. She made a list of benefits of having several wives around the house to help with all those jobs that come with running a household and it was all done in good humor. Really, could you imagine living in a house with 4 other wives having PMS at the same time as you...I shudder just thinking about it.

When they advertised this show I cringed because I thought, here we go again people are going to think, "Utah, they all are polygamists, I knew it!" Yet, here I am, watching it just like the rest of the country and I am just as fascinated as they are because... FYI.... we all are not polygamist in Utah and most of us don't know any polygamists personally.

So I am contemplating writing my next paper which is a research paper on the repercussions of reality T.V. because lets face it I seem to like reality T.V. and have been known to watch one or two of them in my time. I want to state right now that I do not watch Jersey Shore but I do know who the cast is and the sheer orange glow of "Snookie" and douche bag mentality of "The Situation" makes me urp in my mouth a little.

Do I loss a brain cell or two watching reality T.V?.......probably.....Is it an hour of my life that I won't get back?....probably....Am I contributing to the down fall of our society?...probably ......Do I really care?....probably NOT!

C'mon What Is Your Top Five

So have you ever been sitting around talking with friends and said, "What is your top five best looking men?"...C'mon we have all done it. We ask our spouse we ask our friends because I think first of all we are curious to know what other people find attractive and well we are just curious especially when it comes to our spouses. For example, come to find out my husband seems to like the latino type, Salma Hayek, Sofia Vergara; really he likes brunettes that are curvy, which works out well for me. Now the top 5 list changes and people come and go but it is usually pretty consistent. Dwayne Johnson aka "The Rock"....sigh.....yes I can't say the name without a sigh. He is tall, dark, and handsome with tattoos. I know the tattoo thing is a generational but I am of the generation of tattoos and a find "The Rocks" particularly yummy.

Vin Diesel, I love that voice and that body is...well....nice. See, top two tells you I do like shaved heads, dark features, big, and nice arms. I know nothing about these men but in my head I see these kind of guys as being manly men but know how to be gentle when needed and treat their ladies like gold. I don't like wimpy, passive, timid men. Nothing is more of a turn off than a passive guy to me. I also don't like needy men that are constantly needing reassurance and to be told what to do. It is probably the high testosterone type movies that these guys do that somehow endure me to them even more.

Oh Brad...one of the few blonde's that is hard to resist. I first saw him in Thelma and Louise and have been hooked since. He is and oddity because first of all he is blonde and he is one of the few men that I ever found attractive with long hair, Legends of the Fall.....oh Tristan. He has a great smile and he gets better with age I think. Not only does Angelina have great lips but she also has Brad....some girls have all the luck.......

Gerard Butler. He is one that rotates in out of list but he seems to find his way back in a lot. He is once again a manly man...he oozes manliness. He has a look that is not overly sexy but the more you watch him the more you find yourself being attracted. He is the kind of guy you picture sitting around watching football, having a beer, smoking a cigar, flirty, kinda a ladies man that you are not sure you could ever trust....yup that is Gerard in a nutshell for me.

Okay put the kooky Scientology and the fact he is short in the back of your mind. This movie, this scene, made me realize I truly love men and find them......Delicious! Every girl knows this gratuitous scene of sweaty flesh. Tom Cruise was my childhood celebrity crush and for that reason even if he jumps on Oprah's couch he will always be in my top five.


So ladies...who is your type five? Do you like the suave, sophisticated man; is the artsy, intelligent man your type, or is it the pretty boy that makes every girl and gay man giggle?

C'mon we all have that list.......

Mean Moms

I am currently taking an English course that teaches you how to write college papers such as research and rhetoric papers. It has been interesting and has made me step away from my blog type writing and actually have to write something in depth with hints of intelligence. We are getting ready to begin our process of doing our research paper and I think my topic will be something about capitalism and our economy...ya,ya ...politics, government, corruption...blah, blah, blah...you know what I would really love to focus my research on....."Mean Moms". Have you seen the movie Mean Girls? Well if you have not it is the pack mentality that teenager girls adopt to survive the hell that we call High School. Each girl in the popular "clique" is given a particular personality,the slut; the stupid one, the gossip; and of course the queen bee. I have learned through careful observation that this mentality seems to follow some women out of high school and they continue to carry on this mean girl persona so I have aptly named them "Mean Moms".


You have to observe these moms in their natural habitat like a playground but one of the ideal places to observe these women is at the children's museum. They thrive in this environment. First of all they feel as though because they have purchased an expensive membership to this educational environment it automatically gives them that heir of educational superiority. They have purchased this membership to further their child's vast intelligence so that they can go to kindergarten already understanding the laws of physics. The "Mean Moms" gather together with there whole foods snacks, 300 dollar purses, and 1000 dollar extensions. The clothes vary, it is either really expensive jeans with high heel shoes and chunky jewelery or it is the yoga gear to prove that had just recently worked out with their trainer. The hair has highlights and they always have eyelash extensions and freshly manicured fingers. They discuss their children's overly scheduled activities and how their coaches don't give them enough play time. They gossip about there neighbors and their friends and whatever charity event they are involved in.


There is always a lead mom, the queen bee mom. She is the type A personality with the blackberry out at all times. She dominates the conversation and all eye's revolve around her to see what the next move is. The rest are just followers they are usually wearing clothes that are to young for them and they laugh and enthusiastically agree with everything that the queen bee has to say.


I watch and I think to myself, Why? Why can't they leave high school behind? Are they trying to run for homecoming queen? Why am I observing you? Am I jealous?.........


Well if you know me, the last question is easy to answer, NO! I was never part of clique let alone wanting to be part of one as an adult but isn't it weird even as an adult you feel excluded and secretly know that you would never be accepted to that group and that leaves you with that unsure 15 year old feeling......hmmmm.....


See isn't this so much more fascinating then Capitalism and its impact on the economy.....well I suppose I will go on quietly observing these moms at school events, grocery stores, birthday parties, and playgrounds and wonder if we ever truly outgrow the politics of cliques.

A Pledge To Myself

It is time to focus and get back to my goal of the dreaded word "weight loss". Silly time of year to be focused on weight loss with all the holidays approaching but if I don't I am going to offset all my hard work that I have done this year. Me and my sister in laws set off at the end of February to loose weight. My one sister in law who was blessed with great height and the ability to loose weight much faster than me is looking fab I must say and has reached her goal but I on the other hand had about twice as much as her to loose so it is now time to focus on that second half. I hate talking about weight because honestly aside from some genetic factors my fat butt is my problem and my lack of self-control when eating. I joke about it and laugh about it but I try to not to put myself down because of it. I think all women have their insecurities and certainly mine is weight but I will not put my life on hold because of extra weight. It is so easy as woman to put ourselves down because we are constantly comparing ourselves to other women but as most of us know those women are also comparing themselves to us.

So I have lost 50 pounds so far this year and I have another 50 I would like to loose by March and I know it is obtainable when I focus and don't let things like yummy baked good and fries stand in my way. Food is my addiction admittedly and it is a damn good tasty addiction too. So I am putting out to everyone that I am trying to refocus through the holidays and get back on the bandwagon of trying to exercise and watch what I eat, I am making my fat butt accountable to the worldwide web. So here is my pledge to myself:

I am solemnly swear that I will not eat in excess,

and I will stay away from all that is yummy and easy to access.

I will weigh myself weekly and not be beat myself up

even if the scale tells me to give up.

I will regularly exercise even when my body says no,

I will get on the treadmill come hell or high water I can't say NO.

I will always look in the mirror no matter what I see, and

tell myself that it is okay to be me.

Halloween Rant!

So here is my parental rant for the day and if you know me you have heard this rant before. It is my Halloween costume rant. My twins wear junior size clothing and apparently according to those who make Halloween costumes feel that my 11 year old needs to be a slut for Halloween. It can be a nurse slut, prison slut, witch slut, devil slut, pirate slut, pixie slut, goth slut.....and the list goes on and on. If my girl is 11 or 19 I hope I have taught her enough common sense that she can decide on her own that there are other cute Halloween costume choices aside from being a SLUT!

Why has this become the new fad? The media and marketers have decided collectively that all girls should wear as little on this holiday to prove their sexiness. Listen I am not a prude but I think you can look sexy as women without blatantly looking like you just stepped off a bad adult film set and I especially do not want my 11 year old looking like she just came from an adult film set.

So to the marketing companies I want to say, PLEASE, let my child be a child and try not to dress them up as some pedophiles fantasy!

So I suppose we are off to the local thrift store to come up with something on our own and I promise you it will be three times more creative and they will look appropriate for their age!

Hello World

I suppose I have never noticed or maybe it is a new feature but you can track how many people have looked at your blog, what post was most popular, and the countries where people have viewed your blog. The top three are the UK and China and Germany. What do people in China think of my random pictures and a glimpse into my somewhat boring American life. My vacation pictures seemed to be popular in Germany and my X-rated peanut butter post was popular for the UK it seemed to get a LOT of hits but I think that was random people logging on thinking they were going to see more than a picture of a Reese's peanut butter cup (who knew the Brits were into peanut butter). I more or less started blogging because I enjoy writing though I know my grammar could use some help. I do it for family and friends so they can see what is going on in my life. It is basically my online journal without getting to personal so as not embarrass myself and my family.

So to my intercontinental audience I am a typical "middle america housewife". I am married, have three kids, own a home, have debt, drive an over sized gas guzzling vehicle, I am on the internet to much and watch way to much reality T.V., Believes in God and this country,owns a gun, loves the great outdoors, and last but not least always on diet because I indulge in way to much over processed American cuisine..............but.........

I also want you to know that I am going to college to be a nurse, my goal is to get me a passport and come see your country some day, my family is everything to me, I am LDS, we are struggling like many other Americans right now financially but we know that everything will work out in the end, most Americans are good hearted people, I have dreams, reluctance, fear, and self-doubt, optimism and pessimistic emotions running through me at all times. All of this makes up me...a typical "middle america housewife".................Hello world my name is Michele and welcome to my life

L-O-V-E

I have not lost a spouse. parent, or a good friend to death. I know at some point I will experience at least two of these things and maybe all three in my life. When someone around me looses someone that was an intricate part of their life and they loved my heart breaks for them because I know if I lost my spouse or a parent or a dear friend my heart would shatter into a million pieces. So where do you begin to put those shattered pieces of your heart back together?

I suppose your heart will mend day by day and there will be days that not a stitch will be made because it will hurt to much. I think that love is where it all begins. The love you receive the love you give and the never ending love for that person that is no longer with you..

Show your love everyday with those around you. If it is a hug or a kiss or the words it is all food for your soul and for your hearts.
Let there always be love ..................

Unforgotten Feelings

As I was flipping channels on the T.V. this morning I came across a documentary about a women who had a micro-preemie. The baby was born at 25 weeks and weighed only 1 pound. They had the decision to take him off of any life support because they knew his ability to thrive and live would be limited to say the least. They choose to continue with the support and health care and though there were times they thought he would not survive and he will have always have disability issues in the end he made it. He was walking and smiling and laughing and doing things the doctors said he would never do.

Though we are approaching the twins 11th birthday in a week my memories and feelings that I experienced while they were in the NICU will never be forgotten. The women in this documentary described the NICU as a science fiction lab that few are aware of. The delicate support of death and life is executed everyday. I was lucky, it is a constant barrage of tests that determine if your child will have a life of health and mental normality, all of our tests came back good where as others were not as lucky. To not be able to hold your child right away, to be able to kiss them on their head, to dress them in their new onesies, and not be able to give them a bath, all these things are taken from you and all that clouds your mind is the thoughts of, "please Lord let them make it through this day."

I felt this woman's uncertainty of the future and her fear of what the outcome may be. You learn to live by day, hours, and minutes in the NICU. First thing you check is if any weight gain has happened and the slow removal of wires and tubes. The less tubes there are the better things are getting.

I do remember the first time I did get to hold them, feed them, bathe them. It was the stepping stones to them coming home.

They give you CPR class before they send you home with a preemie. They have apnea issues and tend to forget to breath. You leave the hospital with oxygen and wires still attached. You leave the security of the doctors and nurses behind and now you are in charge of this fragile little life.

The twins were born on September 10th and Cheyenne came home first a few days before Halloween. They kept Kaitlynn another week because her oxygen levels kept dipping. When I finally brought Kaitlynn home I laid her down next to Cheyenne and it as though she just knew instinctively that was her other half, the one that shared the womb with her. She began kicking her feet and smiling., she knew she was home.

We have been fortunate that they have few issues. We had a scare of cellulitis (picture above) and a tumor on Cheyenne's ovary that proved to be malignant but after surgical removal there was no need for chemotherapy. They have a few speech delays and learning delays but they keep up in school with a little extra effort and help.

Here they are 11 years later. They are starting to change to young women now and they love Hannah Montana, Wizards of Waverly Place, music, makeup, clothes and boys. They are amazing and they will always be my little miracles!!

Ferocious Fours

August 22nd four years ago we gained a new member of the family. At 2:45 pm she was born. She weighed 7lbs 11oz and was 20 inches long. The epidural did not work and she decided to come out sideways so after some painful yells from me and a patient OB she came into the world. It was a surreal experience! The twins birth was so dramatically different that this experience was like having a baby for the first time. I got to soak her in and enjoy the joy of her being here and most of all I got to hold her right away for as long as I wanted to. I was all alone for the twins birth but his time I had Adrian, my mother-in-law Sharon and Father-in-law Bob (though I will say the father-in-law was quick to leave the room once he heard the doctor say lets start pushing, can't blame him for that ). She had every bit of my love from the minute they put her in my arms.

This was the day I brought her home. She was a GREAT baby! She was a good eater and she slept well and rarely cried. See her bottom lip in this picture, how it is puckered out, she still does that when she sleeps.

The day she was blessed ...Makenzie Hope Brand...notice that puckered bottom lip again.

She was born with a plugged tear duct. This is not uncommon, you just have to keep it washed and clean and eventually it opens up. Whenever she woke up from a nap or in the morning her eye would be caked shut. She of course got the nickname Popeye for at least six months.

This was a wig we found at the in-laws and of course because the baby was defenseless we had to put it on her. Really isn't a parents job to humiliate their children...next picture is proof ...

HUMILIATION!

One thing my girls do have is BEAUTIFUL eye's, they got their daddy's eye's.

One years old in this picture. She was just starting to walk and the evidence in that is the bruised up nose. She fell into a stone fireplace just a few days previous to taking this picture.

She knows where that unconditional love is. She loves all the grandparents and attracts to them like bears to honey. She knows where she will get all that attention and love that she demands..and oh boy does she love this grandpa, she has him wrapped around her finger.


These last four years have flown by and Makenzie is a force to be reckoned with. As I was writing this blog she managed to get in to trouble several times and as of this minute she is sitting in her room in time out. She has ended her three's by perfecting the "Temper Tantrum". She is screaming at the top of her lungs and kicking the floor in her room. She is yelling at the top of her lungs, "I don't love her, and she needs to get out of her room and she needs her blanket." I think she is going to be an actress, a pain in the ass diva actress! She is the humor and pure entertainment that drives this house. Hang on world because Makenzie is going to be out there someday and she is not coming quietly......

X-rated Peanut Butter

So admittedly I have an addiction to blogs that are all about recipes.I love to cook and I love new recipes.Here is the problem, I am even more addicted to them while I am on a diet. I call it food porn. Stick with me and I will explain this theory in a PG-13 manner. I surf the web for hours cataloging and copying and adding websites to my favorites list. The more I look at these blogs the deeper I get. I stared at a blog today that had a recipe that sounded like nirvana to me. I salivated and thought to myself, why had I not thought of this myself? Pure genius I tell you! It started with a Reese's peanut butter cups...okay, why I call this food porn is I compare my love to peanut butter cups to lets say some men's affinity to large breasts. So automatically you put Reese's peanut butter cup in the first sentence for me and it is like dangling a woman with DD breasts with no bra and a tank top in front of a man..it has gravitational pull, you cannot not look! Okay, so I find myself sitting up in my chair and my eye's become hypnotized to the what she is doing to these peanut butter cups. She puts them in a cupcake liner and then puts them in a muffin tin and then makes a batch of peanut butter cookie dough, the Betty Crocker kind that you just add butter and eggs to and puts about two tablespoons of the dough on the top of the peanut butter cup and bakes it for about 20 minutes. The cup and cookie have become an intertwined harmonious concoction. You would think that she would be done there but no this woman is a professional and knows what she is doing. Really I would be content and happy with just the cookie and peanut butter cup but seriously she is a professional and knows how to give a good show if you know what I mean. She then frosts it!!!! White chocolate buttercream frosting!!!!! So my second favorite thing in the world is white chocolate. So lets compare this to the DD, no bra, tank top women by adding in the man's affinity to his preference in colored hair, it could be blonde, brunette, redheads. So not only has this large breasted women caught his attention she has long blonde wavy hair and that is like icing on the cake and you are hooked! Well, white chocolate buttercream frosting is my icing to my already perfect package, I really do think I lost consciousness for a minute. There it is folks, my addiction.....I think I need to go smoke a cigarette now...............

"Eating a Whole Bag of Cookies Does Make Me Feel Better."

What I have learned by the age of 35.....

1. Life moves more quickly the older I become.
2. I have become more sentimental.
3. Things happen for a reason.
4. Let other peoples problems be their problems and not my own.
5. Know when to let go and when to hang on to those around me.
6. Being a parent is hard and I have made so many mistakes I have lost count.
7. I forgive my parents for any mistakes they made, they were learning to just like me.
8. Who will be by my side even when I am at my worst.
9. Whose side I can be by at their worst.
10. That eating a whole bag of cookies can make me feel better.
11. It is okay to cry even when you know things are going to be okay.
12. That life just sucks sometimes.
13. I know why some animals eat their young.
14. Say, "I love you" any chance I get because you never know if that will be the last words they hear.
15. "Cancer" is more than just a word.
16. Praying has become easier because there is more to be thankful for and my prayers have become longer because more worries seems to burden my mind.
17. I should have gone to college when my mind and body were younger.
18. Knows I must have done something good in my previous life to be introduced to my one true love at such a young age.
19. Always mean what you say even if you know that person may not like what you have to say.
20. Always take the time to laugh even when it is hard to find something to laugh about.

Griswolds final day of vacation...day 6

We headed to the great state of Maryland on our last day to visit my Aunt Sandra and all my cousins, whom I have not seen in years. We stopped by Inner Harbor Baltimore first and strolled around for awhile. This coast guard boat was at Pearl Harbor during the Japanese invasion, I think I have mentioned before how much I love inner harbor. It has lots of shopping and boats you can tour, restaurants, aquarium and lots of other things to do.

We visited with family and then decided to go down to Havre de Grace which is only a few minutes from my aunts house to check out the water and the docks. It was good to see everyone and there kids. It is hard to imagine all of us grown up with our own families now when all I can remember is all of us at the ages that are children are now. I remember a vacation that we took when I was about the twins age to visit my aunt. We did so many fun things on that vacation and I hope the girls remember all the fun things we did on this vacation. I remember eating ice cream down by these docks and watching the lightning bugs.

The lighthouse down by the docks.....

This is a picture of two very tired worn out parents...

I love being by the water.....

This is a picture of the very first place me and Adrian lived when we moved to the east coast The condo on the bottom, that was our bedroom on the bottom left hand corner. It has changed so much in that area that we almost did not find it. It was fairly new construction when we moved in so there was not a lot of trees at the time but now you can not see any of these condos because they trees were so thick. Fun memories! We had a good day in Baltimore and lots of good memories. We were ready to head home the next day but it was fun while it lasted....

Griswolds Family Vacation...Day 5

We decided to go downtown DC. In the past we have done "The Mall" which is where all the museums and monuments are at. This time we decided not to do all the mall but just the American History Museum. It is my favorite museum and it has been closed for two years for renovations. We drove downtown DC with Bob and meet his wife Suzanne at her place of work which is only a few blocks from the mall. We grabbed some lunch at my favorite burger place, Five Guys ( picture above ) and decided to go see a movie which was only a couple blocks away.

It is funny watching the girls walk around a big city. We live in a small town with one traffic light that was just recently put in. The twins loved the entrance to DC's China Town. They said Grantsville should build one of those as you come in to town. I guess instead of intricate Chinese symbols we would have cowboy paraphernalia with accents of camouflage

If you have seen the movie, Julia and Julia, this is Julia Childs kitchen that they showed at the end of the movie. The counters are really tall; she was a tall woman. This is one of the new exhibits that they have put in since the remodeling.

The original star spangled banner used to hang from the ceiling and was the first thing you saw as you came in the building but years ago they figured out it was disintegrating so they took steps to preserve and restore it as best they could. They finished restoring it and now it is in a dimly lit room with a new exhibit surrounding it. This is the entrance to the room it is kept in. If you have never seen it you think of just a regular size flag but this flag is huge, little less then a football field in size. It is amazing to see!

We are off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz.......

It is not easy being green. How can seeing Kermit not make you smile......

Piece of the Berlin wall......

Another new exhibit. Music and clothes that came out of the Apollo theater. They have scaled back a lot of the exhibits in the renovation but overall the renovations seemed to not make it seem so crowded. My favorite exhibit is the first ladies inauguration dresses. Abraham Lincolns wife had the tiniest waist you have scene, Michelle Obama's dress was the most popular, Calvin Coolidge's wife and Tafts wife had beautiful intricate dresses. It was a fun day and it was mostly inside which meant air conditioning!....Day 6...Baltimore.

Griswolds Family Vacation...Day 4

We headed to the National Zoo on Wednesday. We were going to head to Gettysburg on this day but after driving close to 6 hours total on Tuesday the thought of having to drive another 5 hours total in a car was not appealing to me. Me and Adrian have been to the DC zoo a lot because it is a great zoo and it is free admission. In hindsight with the heat we should have headed somewhere inside and air-conditioned but this is where the kids wanted to go

The best part of this zoo is the panda exhibit. They do look like stuffed teddy bears in real life. You want to go over and hug one but then reality sets in and you realize that this cuddly bear would rip your face off if needed. I must admit at this point that I handed my camera to the twins for the zoo trip. I was hot and tired and they wanted to take pictures. We ended up with a few good ones, a lot of animal pictures, and A WHOLE bunch of blurry pictures. They did not take pictures of the panda either.....I do have blurry pictures of the bamboo that they eat.

I love otters. If there is a show on Animal Planet that has otters I will watch it. Their personalities make me smile. On a documentary on Animal Planet they had a story about a female otter that only gave birth to still born babies and out of desperation of wanting a baby of her own she would try to steal the babies of the other otters; I cried, yup I cried while watching this silly documentary. I wanted to personally find an abandoned otter baby and bring it to this otter so she could have a baby. No more Animal Planet for me, I get to personally involved.

These are the pictures I ended up with. I am not sure what exhibit this is and I am also not sure who the kid in the picture is. Lets face it probably at this point I was trying to find some shade and something cold to drink....I will admit it I can be just as whiny as the children but I just store my whining internally and it manifests itself in to uninterested, detached,haughty seclusion....

Last time we came to the zoo, which was two years ago they were just starting the new elephant exhibit. This is part of it. It looks like a golf course. It is beautiful and huge and perfect for these gigantic animals. We did not spend a long time at the zoo. It is a great zoo but when the temperatures are 100 plus 90 percent humidity it is hard to stop and take everything in. Me and Adrian used to go in the fall and spring when we lived there. It sits right downtown and is surrounded by some great restaurants. It is well worth a visit if you ever find yourself in DC.....
Day 5, Downtown....to be continued......

Griswolds family vacation....Day three..Part 2

We made it to the beach. This was a last minute decision because of Williamsburg not taking as long as we expected and being a bit deflated from the tourist trap, we felt like we needed to salvage something special out of the day so when we saw that virginia beach was less then an hour away we knew we had to go. This is the main touristy beach but that meant shops that the kids could get a shirt and lots of restaurants available.

This is me in heaven. My feet in the sand and the sound of waves all around me. There had been a storm that blew through and it brought the temp down to the low 80's it felt so good.

Look at that smile on that beautiful girl.

There is all my treasures right there in that picture.

Look at that pose. She loved the beach!!! She was wet and was sand covered in the first 5 minutes of us getting on the beach

The last picture of the day. My makeup was gone, my hair had lost the battle to the 90 + plus percent humidity earlier in the day and at this moment I was in pure joy and Adrian kept saying it was time to go and I kept saying 5 more minutes please. Adrian finally had to be stern with me and say it was time to go home because we had a long drive ahead. I reluctantly gathered my family and headed home....day 4 National Zoo...to be continued...