I went to a funeral yesterday. She was a neighbor of ours and though I did not know her really well or as long as most of those in our town, I did know her well enough that I felt I needed to go and pay my respects. She was always kind to me and for awhile we shared the church duty of providing food for relief society events. She had a great smile and her laugh made me laugh and she had a sweetness about her that reminded of my dear Aunt Wanda. As a listened to her friends and family share stories of her I was reminded of funerals I had been to, and how each has a certain impact on your life.
I remember my grandpa Howell's funeral, I was in 4th grade and it was my first experience with death that I could remember. It seemed like one day he was fine and the next day he was sick and than no longer with us. As a kid it was hard to process how someone could go so quickly but as an adult you are thankful that he did not suffer for a long period. He was a significant part of our life growing up and his dying made me process grief. It was a learning curve that we all experience in our life.
My grandmother Beck's death was not like my grandpa Howell's. Viv had been sick for a long time and when she passed away it was a relief that she was no longer in pain. As a family we have a lot of Viv stories, some good and some not so good. Coming from my point of view and my experience as Viv's granddaughter, she was always kind to me and I knew she loved me very much. She was a woman that could be cruel with those around her but for some reason she had a bond to me, and never once was she cruel to me, and all she ever gave me was unconditional love. I wish she could have been that way with others around her but I am thankful and grateful that I got to experience that side of her. At her funeral I remember touching her hand and saying quietly under my breath, " I hope you find the peace that I don't think you had here; thank you for your love."...I hope she has found peace.
My dear sweet Auntie Wanda. A woman that made you happy just being in her presence. Her death was also a sudden one. I dreaded going to the viewing because I did not know how I was going to deal with her no longer being here. When I saw her, all that anxiety went away, she was a unique soul that was so full of life, and her soul had moved on to a much better place. It was her body in the casket but everything that was Wanda, that unique soul, was no longer there so it was as though I was looking at a stranger. When I came back sometime later and visited where she had lived for all the years I had known her, that is where I felt her soul, that is where I heard her laugh and felt that precious presence of hers.
There has been other deaths and funerals along the way and they all have some kind of impact in some way. Yesterday I took the time to remember a sweet woman's life, there was laughter and tears and a peace felt throughout the room. Yesterday I remembered all of those who have passed on in my life and I am grateful for the time I did have with them. Like the church hymn says and I believe to be true ; I will be with you till meet again.
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