Epic Meltdown of 2011

I think I have expressed before that I have a hard time expressing my emotions. I am not a boo-hoo kinda girl, I don't cry at the drop of a hat, and I can honestly say overly emotional people make me uncomfortable. I express my vulnerability in silence and usually if I am silent it is because I am feeling one or all of the above emotions in the list that I posted above.

I hit a wall last Tuesday night....I have hit a lot of walls lately...but this time I felt like the crash test dummies traveling 100mph towards a brick wall.....I was racing towards this wall and I knew as soon as I hit this wall there would be an explosion heard around the Brand household and it would soon be labeled for future reference as, "The day mom lost it!"

....I hit that wall and there was an explosion...the mother of all explosions.....

(This picture is a dramatic reenactment of, "The day mom lost it!")

There was events leading up to this day. They were small things that were compounding on to the bigger things....

Tuesday night...the twins pulled an adolescent brain fart moment  ... it set me off ...they were at ground zero of my explosion....

(This picture is a dramatic interpretation of the twins appearance after my nuclear explosion)

and then I turned my attention to my husband because I figured at this point I mine as well finish what I started and I didn't want him to feel left out of of the, "The day mom lost it" event.

(This picture is a dramatic interpretation of Adrian being down wind of my explosion)

I let everything go......everything I had pent up inside me radiated from every pore in my body.

The only one that avoided the singe of my fire was the youngest because lets face it she is still young enough that she is not accountable for her brain fart moments. She sat blissfully downstairs eating fruit snacks and watching cartoons. Anyways, she would have interrupted my epic meltdown by asking questions like, "Do I look pretty today?" and "Is this a good time to ask if I can add something to my Christmas wish list?"

When it was over and I had nothing left in me.....I felt my shoulders relax.....I felt my jaw relax....

.....all that fogginess in my head had cleared......

We talked it out, we hugged it out, and "I Love You" was said in the end.

These are the issues that arise when you are part of that thing called a "FAMILY"...

In fact Erma Bombeck says it best:

The family.  We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.  ~Erma Bombeck

I suppose that common thread is love. Love allows me to have epic meltdowns, love allows me to feel safe enough to let go and express what I am feeling.....Love allows me to cry, and be angry.... but they also know....

 .....that at the end of the night when everyone goes off to bed, without a shadow of doubt...

...I love them ....and I love this strange little tribe that I call...

my Family!