Gratitude

I have been staring at this blank blog page for awhile. I want to talk about being done with my semester, the twins,  weight loss epiphanies , Chip our elf, but then my mind wanders back to the horrific events in Connecticut. I feel strange putting both things on the same page.....a heinous event mixed with the silly goings on in my life.

....but I suppose the silly goings on in ones life is what makes us keep going .....in what seems like a chaotic scary world at times.

 Friday I picked up my six year old from school and let her chatter away about this, that, and all things encompassing Christmas. We stopped at the store and picked up a movie from the Redbox, and grabbed a treat for later....then we gathered as a family and spent the evening together.....cuddled on the couch shutting out the world for awhile.

something so simple... and yet 27 others...20 of them being 6 and 7 years old.... were robbed of this Friday....and that makes my heart ache beyond words.....

So, I am going to go ahead and go on about my week.....and share pictures...and talk about all those silly things.....because I am grateful...I am AMAZINGLY grateful I have these things to talk about this week...these are the things that keep me going in this crazy chaotic world.


The twins had their Christmas concert on Monday.....and they did great!

I finished my semester Friday and with A, A, A-...the A- was in pharmacology and I worked hard for that A-....think about all the information that comes with one pill...now try to remember multiples of pills with all different information.......that is why I am okay with that A-.

When I finished my last final Friday I used some Christmas money I received and did a little retail therapy. I have talked about weight loss in past blogs, and I will go over my total weight loss after the holidays, but I want to mention something that almost brought me to tears in the dressing room. I have not done much shopping and it is apparent by the way my clothes fit, I am starting to look like a homeboy. First of all, being able to shop in a non plus size store is a change for me, and it felt amazing. I picked out a bunch of stuff and went to the dreaded dressing room, and you know what happened....everything fit and it looked good...only thing that didn't... was not to small, but to big. After about the third outfit I stopped and smiled at myself in the mirror and was amazed. I still see myself as the same person (the heavier person) most days, and at that moment I saw this new person staring back at me....I have worked my butt off (literally) this year. I am not to my goal weight but I am getting there...and it feels amazing!

Lets not forget Chip this week:

Day 9: Wanna go fishing?  The fish kept biting at his "lure" all day....Makenzie said she wouldn't eat it if he catches one.

Day 10: Chip went missing this day...but look who was here in his place...."evil" elf.....Makenzie was worried about Chip all day. Remember "evil" elf, he is from the south pole he made an appearance last year......

Day 11: Of course Chip came back....and took care of that other elf.......but somehow I think he might show up one more time before Christmas.

Day 12: " I MUSTACHE ask you a question!" .......Drawing on Makenzie's baby pictures.....

Day 13: We read the Nutcracker and Chip must have been listening.....Makenzie found this hilarious!

Day 14: Just hanging out with Santa this morning.....

Day 15: I forgot to take a picture!? My brain was mush by this point, it had been a long week of studying, and I actually forget to move chip from the night before. At 6am I remembered and  I moved him, and I forgot to get a picture that day. Chip helped himself to our treat the night before and had a few nibbles on the doughnuts. When I did remember to take a picture the kids had finished off the doughnuts, even the nibbled on one......

There it is.....  our week in a nutshell....

A typical week to have had.....

A week of picking up my kids from school, eating dinner together, and tucking them safely in bed at night.....

...and after Friday's events.....

I am humbled and grateful for this week, today , and tomorrow...and so on .......

RIP sweet precious angels....

That Guy From The North Pole Is Back!

My musical taste is full of variety...Johnny Cash and The Who one moment.... U2 and Pink the next....Kanye on my iPod shuffle...and then a little White Stripes sprinkled with the Zac Brown band with a dash of No Doubt.

Something happens this time of year though, my musical taste changes..

I suddenly feel the urge to fill my iPod with Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole, Michael Buble, and Andy Williams.....why does this happen? Why does my choice in artists suddenly reflect a 70 year old retiree?

....because....

The Christmas classics are freaking AWESOME! I won't apologize for my snowy wonderland of sappy music...

...and then I am compelled to cover everything in my house with lights, garland, and berries....I want to make sugary treats, and drink lots of hot cocoa with marshmallows melting over the top....

I love this time of year! It is my favorite holiday for a million reasons.

Last year we started the Elf on the Shelf. If you missed last years you can get an idea of the fun we had by reading here, here, and my all time favorite here, and lastly here.

So of course Kenzie has been asking about Chip the elf since Halloween. I have been collecting ideas on Pinterest and preparing. Last year I bought Chip a little further into December so I need to pace myself and space out the good ideas..... I have more days to cover this year.....plus I  have to get through finals, then I can focus on Chips shenanigans.

Are you ready to cover week one? Nothing outrageous this week, but it has kept the 6 year old entertained, and that is what matters. Oh, and by the way, I will of course include an underwear episode, and bring back the evil elf at some point this month....Here we go!

Day 1: My kids don't get boxed cereal often. It is expensive and they can go through a box in two days so I buy the big bags of cereal. So a box of cereal, and especially a Christmas cereal, is a big deal.  The scenario at the grocery store would go something like this....Makenzie asking for this box of cereal at the store, and I would say no because I wasn't spending 4+ dollars on a box of cereal that would last one meal; and then she would whine all through the store, and I would tell her this is why I don't bring her shopping; and she would sulk all the way home, and I would tell her father I am never taking her to the store again...and then next week... we would do the same thing all over again. She even got a new Christmas cereal bowl and a card from Chip.

 

 

Day 2: We have fun with Chip, but we took a moment to acknowledge what Christmas truly means. Chip got baby Jesus from our nativity set and highlighted his birth in the Bible, we took a few minutes and read it together.

 

Day 3: My mom recently sent an advent calendar so Chip took it upon himself to put up that days decoration....Makenzie was unsure of Chip helping himself to her morning duty of changing the advent calendar...she may have given him a dirty look....

Day 4: Well of course if there is Christmas cookies in the house Chip is going to help himself to one!
  * I would like to thank Adrian for volunteering his services this evening in eating the said cookie*

 

 

Day 5: As I laid my head down on my pillow and began to send myself into a blissful NyQuil induced sleep. I somehow remembered I had not moved Chip from his cookie crumbled spot. I laid there for a moment debating on coming up with a lie on why he did not move this night, or get my tired NyQuil induced self out of bed. I then looked around my room thinking about what to do...and then it came to me. I have had a head cold for about a week now and my bedside table was covered in cold medicine and tissues. Chip was going to be sick tonight! When Kenzie saw him the next morning she said he was faking...because he was still smiling.

 



Day 6: The twins wanted to do something with Chip so they gathered some of their Monster
High dolls and they set up the scenario for the night. I think Chip was a little unsure of their monster looks...I don't think they have anything that looks like that in the North Pole.

Day 7: How about a little Hide and seek. Chip wrote on her mirror in her room. "Let's play hide and seek." Makenzie could not find him; in fact, she had to have sisters help find him...can you see him?

Day 8: Curly or straight?

oh wait back to Chip...

Day 8: Makenzie has seemed to take her time taking off in school, she seemed not very interested in kindergarten, and I was worried she was going to be behind the curve with first grade. All of sudden the light when off and she has taken off...she has been doing really well this year. I had Santa acknowledge all her hard work, and had Chip bring a special treat, homemade hot cocoa and powdered doughnuts. Polar express cocoa to be exact. Just reading the recipe makes your butt grow two sizes but it is a good decadent treat.

1 1/2 cups heavy cream

1 can sweetened condensed milk

2 cups chocolate chips

6 cups milk

1 tsp vanilla

 

Warm over low heat and it keeps great in a crock pot

 

 



Next week is finals week...please pray for my sanity.....

To be continued ......



Time Out For Family

I am not a fan of the heat...Now don't get me wrong, by January I am looking for a little warmth, but overall I like cooler weather. Most people hit the amusement parks, zoo, and other outdoor activities in the summer months. I tend to avoid large crowds in the heat....I get cranky! So usually when October hits I come out of my summer hibernation and participate in outdoor activities. It is normally much cooler, the crowds are minimal...and as a result, I don't get cranky, so we tend to do a lot of our family outings in the fall. This last three months I have been swamped with work, school, and money has been tight, so we have not done our normal fall activities. No Oktoberfest...no Lagoon...no Park City.... no weekend getaways...Nothing! My sister-in-law had some free tickets for the zoo that expired at the end of the month and I made it a point to make sure we got to the zoo before the end of the month. Thanks Becky for giving us some much needed family time......

2 Years, 3 Months Later...SMILE!

2 years 3 months ago

One year ago

Today

 Happy kiddo with a beautiful smile

McDonalds, It Can Be Therapeutic!

When we had the twins I decided to stay home, and I was a housewife for a lot of years. I will readily admit that being at home with toddler twins was challenging...and by challenging.....I mean bang your head repeatedly on a spike studded 2X4 challenging.

My days consisted of...

 Blues Clues...... I became very attached to Steve....then Steve went to college....I don't want to talk about it..it was traumatic!

Missing sippy cups that of course had milk in them...to be found three days later with curdled milk in them...oh the horror of that smell. If you have never had a toddler, you have no idea of the importance of the sippy cup. Look, when it comes to the importance of inventions in my book, sippy cups are in the top ten, it is a close second to TiVo and Spanx.

Countless hours of picking up toys that I had just picked up two minutes before. I had a bright idea to buy them a ball pit at some point...worst idea ever!

Hours spent trying to use child psychology to convince two two year olds that they cannot go to preschool until they are potty trained....it all came down to old fashioned bribery...M&M's to be exact....it went something like this..."You go pee in that potty chair and you get chocolate and sugar made into colorful yummy goodness...and you go poop in that same potty and I will give you the whole damn 8 pound bag of colorful yummy goodness."

Countless hours spent agonizing if it is really worth it to load the kids up in their car seats, coats, mittens, and hats to go to the grocery store. "Do they really need milk and bread?" I would ask myself. Now, to the person who has not had a toddler this seems like a stupid question to ponder, but to the person who has had a toddler, this a perfectly legitimate dilemma. See, if I took them to the store, it turned into what felt like an expedition to Dante's inferno and back. At some point in our grocery trip someone would have cried, pooped, or needed a Band-Aid...and is all that worth it for milk...I think not!

Now there was other aspects to being home also...I may or may not have participated in...like....

.... watching the whole T.V. series of Dawson's Creek, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and 7th Heaven....

....Spending a few hours here and there talking to friends on the phone in similar situations...they kept me sane!

......Some days were spent in my PJ's the whole day

.....Countless hours of baking and cooking fun stuff...hence why I gained copious amounts of weight.

...and there were honestly days I did nothing....nothing at all....

So why am I reminiscing about this blip in my life?

I saw a small glimmer of what I looked like back then...in my husband...this last week.

So my schedule is busy...I am gone a lot...my hubby has been playing Mr. Mom. He has been home the last 2 months on workman's comp because of his broken tibia.

I came home after a 12 hour day...it was one of many 12 hour days....

Dinner was burnt...the kids were grounded...he had not attempted to groom himself in a few days....the house was trashed...

I was pissed at first when I walked into this chaos....

I thought.."What the hell, I have been busting my butt all day and I come home to this?"...."What have you been doing all day?"

...I also discovered he ritually watched criminal minds reruns on T.V...wore the same shorts daily... spent a lot of time playing online video games...was trying new recipes and upset that I had not praised a new recipe he made, he vehemently let me know his disappoint in my lack of acknowledging his hard work on this recipe......

it was me...

11 years ago... minus the ponytail and toddler boogers wiped on my clothes.

...all my days of being a "housewife".... and some days...

 I just failed at it...I flopped....I should have been fired some days!

So what did I do...I put my jacket back on...told the kids to get their shoes...asked the husband to change his clothes (remember he has been wearing the same shorts daily).... and get in the car....

We went to McDonald's for dinner...The kids were happy...the husband was happy he was getting out of the house and "mom" was home.....It is not 5 five star dining but in that moment it is what is needed.

The same thing happened on many occasions 11 years ago...Adrian loading us all up in the car...the toddlers were happy, and I was happy I was getting out of the house... and "dad" was home.

This is marriage...marriage with kids.....

 Perfectly imperfect. It is complicated, messy, full of flaws, and lacks five star dining...and....

Some day's we just fail at it...

Some day's we flop on our face...

Some day's we really should be fired....

...and some day's.....

We just need that one person who is willing to takes us to....

.... McDonald's.....

Just Life and All Things Involved

In the past month.... few weeks....few days.... today.... and right now...this is what has been happening....

About a month and a half ago she turned 6...she may be going on 26....seriously, she tried to convince me she needs a cell phone.

They turned 13 this past month...they may be going on 3....I say that out of love, but they are teens..you understand.

About a month ago I got to spend a weekend with this guy..my dad...

I started school and the last few weeks we started simulation type labs to practice nursing skills. This is us practicing dressing a wound (and yes, that is a butt, next week we do foley catheters..I think you can imagine what that simulation part looks like)....guess what... this simulation came in handy... because the other day I got to dress a real wound that was just as deep and nasty as this one...and it was AWESOME!!!

 These past few weeks I have worked a lot...I work at a skilled care center that has long term care, rehabilitation unit, and a Alzheimer's unit. All units have there pros and cons when working them but overall it has been good.  Lets face it when working with predominately geriatric patients the highlights of the day is when they do this (see below)...I wish I could give them this t-shirt....it would also make my job easier when it came to charting, then I would not have to ask them the inevitable question everyday.....

This is what my google search looks like on my phone over the past week. Please note the third search on the list...I study...I stress.... I want to eat...and eat....and eat so I start looking at my favorite food blogs and then I snap out of it and begin my scholastic search again

 

 

The last few days...well....I hit my wall....I am tired, emotionally drained, exhausted kindof wall...my days start really early and end late with no rest in between...but...like everyone else going through the same feelings and exhausting schedule...you just keep going...because...well that is what you do....

 

 

 

Today I did my weekly cleaning at my in-laws. My mother-in-law is going through chemo for breast cancer...it has been tough going..name it and she has experienced it. Just this week she had to go through a blood transfusion. I love her and my heart aches a little time I see her....she has two more chemo treatments to go....

 

 

Right now....I am sitting on the couch watching Avengers with my family....

 

...and believe you and me....

 

 there is no other place I would rather be........