Otters, Llamas,and Geese oh my!

I found great humor in a story on MSN that talked about an elderly man being attacked by an otter on his morning walk. An OTTER! Really, how many people can claim that have been attacked by an otter. I never thought to look out for otters on leisurely stroll through the neighborhood.
I was attacked once; well, maybe not exactly attacked by a wild animal. Okay it was not a wild animal but someones llama. Alright it did not attack but it did spit on me. I went to kindergarten at a Lutheran church in Caldwell, Idaho. This church was surrounded by fields and in one of these fields was a llama. It would hang out by the fence watching all of us play on the playground. I was what you would call a curious child so I wanted to check out this weird looking animal that I had never seen before. I remember going to the fence and looking at this white llama ( yeah I remember the color!) and trying to figure out this horse/goat looking animal. I want to state that the teachers never once said , "stay away from the llamas", never once did they state this in their kindergarten rules of conduct. Anyways the llama stared at me for awhile chewing away on its grass and all of a sudden it split its freaky lip and spit a huge loogey of mucus and grass at my face. Llama spit all over my hair and face. I have never had a fondness for llamas since this incidence.
About a year ago I had the children at the local park and out of the corner of my eye I see a white flash. It was someones white llama loose in the park. I held my composure as I escorted the children out of the park and I did inform them of the rules and conduct with llamas since I was not given this important information in my impressionable childhood years.
Oh wait I was attacked by a large goose once. I have been attacked by a semi wild animal. I was at a park by my grandmother Beck's house and they had flocks of ducks and geese that you could feed bread crumbs. My grandmother handed me the bag of day old bread and I began feeding the ducks but sure enough a huge WHITE (note the color) goose came out of nowhere and began to grab at me. It was one of those huge geese that was as tall as me. I dropped the bag of bread and began to run thinking the goose would stay with the bread but no it began to chase me. My grandmother came to my rescue and tried to distract the goose and it turned on her. I would like to say I was at this point selfless and went to my grandmothers aid but I didn't...survival of the fittest... I ran as fast as my legs could and left her for the slaughter. She ended up escaping but she did have large bruises on her from the goose attack. I also do not have a fondness for geese to this day.
When I am elderly and taking a leisurely stroll through my neighborhood do not be surprised if my ultimate demise and the leading paragraph to my obituary is, " Her life was taken by a rabid WHITE otter!"