Parental failures

I was woken up Saturday morning with twins that were dressed and ready to go to Super Saturday for 4-H. I had showed them the sign up sheet about a month ago and they carefully picked out the classes they wanted to go to. One of them was a spa class, they were going to make lotions and glosses. Another class was a cake decorating class that they were really excited for. Anyways, I am laying in bed still half asleep processing the fact they are dressed and excited of their day of activities and I soon realize I have forgotten to turn in the sign-up sheets and have forgotten about the event all together. I FORGOT! My first thought was to lie and try to cover up my mistake but I knew I was wrong and had to pull out the, I am soooo sorry speech and I am sure they will have another one and I will make it up to you speech.

It was one of those parental failure moments. The ones that earn you the parent of the year award. Of course this is not my first parental failure moment, I have had a few good ones that I would like to forget.There was the time I "Whacked" Cheyenne in the eye resulting in a black eye. Before you call child services on me let me explain the incident that led up to this moment. It was a long day of constant bickering and fighting between the twins and I had reached my boiling point. They were sitting on the couch fighting over a catalog so I went over to the couch with intent to separate and send them to separate areas of the home. I reached over Cheyenne grabbed the catalog out of her hands and she began to scream that demonic scream that children seem to be born with. I turned back to her thinking her back was to me and I was going to roll up the magazine and pop her on the head like a puppy ( I was desperate and not thinking straight) but she turned around at me at the same time I was turning around and I caught the corner of her eye with corner of my catalog and we all stopped in disbelief when I realized I "Whacked" my child in the eye. Her twin sister began to laugh and Cheyenne began to scream , "You hit me!"

So there I was, a child with a black eye and me with a wounded heart because even though I knew it was an accident and I felt horrible for hurting her. It has always been an incident I will not forget and one of those times you wonder if she will be in therapy 20 years later discussing when her mother "Whacked" her in the eye and now the time when her mom forgot to sign her up for 4-H super Saturday. By the way I use the word, "Whacked", because that is how Cheyenne describes the hit.

This parenting thing is tricky. I wonder if my mother had those days where she thought she did the fundamental parental failure? Do I remember the incident? Was it more traumatic for her then me? Are there things I remember that she does not? That is where the tricky part comes in; things that I think are going to scar them for life do not bother them but I might be missing those mistakes that are monumental to them and they didn't even register on my radar. I guess the end of the day I try to learn from my mistakes and try not to repeat them and then I kiss all the kids goodnight and tell them I love them because I know my love for them will never be classified as a parental failure.