I Need To Discuss Something Really Important!

First......

Not Important Stuff:

 So I spent a greater part of four days studying for a pathology exam. I get the test and guess what...it was exactly like the practice exam he gave us...the exam took ten minutes to do. I will never complain about given an easy A...but...it felt like thanksgiving dinner, all that work and over within minutes. I felt like standing up on my desk and reciting the importance of water sodium balance in our body just so I could expel some of that knowledge crammed into my brain. Do you want to know the importance of water sodium balance? Call me.. I can tell you in great detail.....

Makenzie proceeded to tell me half way through Wal-Mart that she was not feeling well...she threw up by the doughnut case...there was a lady getting some doughnuts, she left her box sitting there... I don't know why, it is just puke!?....I hope you noted the sarcasm there?.....yup my child was puking in Wal-Mart...clean up in aisle 4...classy stuff right there!!!

There was a little boy at McDonalds that ran around the place like a demon...climbing on tables...screaming at the top of his lungs.. his mother was completly oblivious! Finally she checked back into reality and called for her son......his name...Damien....ironic....... he is satan's spawn child!

Now the important stuff...

..okay so it is not important but now that you are reading this you mine as well finish reading it for my own selfish reasons because that is how I roll:

 I need a new hairstyle, and I need your opinion. I am keeping my fingers crossed I get into the fall nursing program...I need to be able to pull my hair into a ponytail during this time....Clinicals....early morning...I need to be able to do my hair in a short amount of time. With the hairstyle I have now I have to wash it the morning of and style it. It does not take me long but a ponytail would be a fraction of the time and hassle. I like my hair but I need convenience right now. I do not have the patience to grow out my bangs, I don't even know if I have the patience to grow out my hair at this point but I will give it a try....Lets look at what I am thinking...Not to long...layers...and the some bangs...

Perfection...this is what I am thinking...could pull up in a pony...layers...looks cute when down..bangs ...what do you think?......

This is a little choppier, a little edgier...could be more maintenance than the above hairstyle...

Good length.....good bangs.....

Cute....but is it long enough for a pony?...and my hair is much thicker than this..

Cute, Cute, Cute...good hair color...what do you think of this one?

I keep coming back to this......

My hair is more this thickness,...this is a a little longer than I want to go but I like it....it has layers

Exactly the length of pony I am looking for and it works with that style of bangs.

Okay so now it is time to give an opinion....keep my hair short?...grow it out?...what style did you like?....Will I look like any of the above celebrities if I do this?...ignore the last question....I have self-image issues ........Are bangs okay?.....I wish I could afford extensions like these actresses.......opinions, suggestions....anything??????

Carpe a couple Kairoses a day!

Fact: I love my kids with every cell in my body.

Fact: Like most parents, my kids can test every ounce of my patience some days.

Fact: I love time spent with my kids.

Fact: I like having time to myself and being away from kids.

Fact: I will miss my kids when they start to leave home to venture out on their own.

Fact: I am looking forward to my years with just me and my hubby once the kids are grown and gone.

Here is a piece of an article that my cousin posted on her website:

Every time I'm out with my kids -- this seems to happen:

An older woman stops us, puts her hand over her heart and says something like, "Oh, Enjoy every moment. This time goes by so fast."

Everywhere I go, someone is telling me to seize the moment, raise my awareness, be happy, enjoy every second, etc, etc, etc.

I know that this message is right and good. But, I have finally allowed myself to admit that it just doesn't work for me. It bugs me. This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life - while I'm raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I'm not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I'm doing something wrong.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html

AMEN!! Thank goodness I am not the only one out there that feels this way. I know, I get the message...these days of raising my babies is going to pass in a blink of an eye. My twins are young women now and changing every day I look at them. My youngest is no longer that toddler that always found her way to my lap with her sippy cup. They are growing at a rapid pace and I try to soak in those little moments any chance I get among the chaos.

This article struck a cord with me because we all encounter those mothers...those women...who eat, breath, and live every waking moment of their children. As a mother I walk away from these mothers saying to myself, "I suck!"..."Why don't I hover over my children like that!"......"Seriously, I would kill for a week away from my children!"....."OMG!, I am a horrible mother!"....."Does she have any interests away from her children?"........"I am really not feeling intense gratitude at this moment."?"........"Where is my motherly euphoric feeling?"....."Carpe Diem, my ass!"....."Should I be more like her?"

No....I should not be more like that mother....I just need to be the best mother I can be...

So how do I balance it all and be okay with not always having the perfect mother glow oozing from my soul? How do I make sure I ingest those special moments and take those not special moments in stride? How do I survive this thing called motherhood and not lose myself somewhere in between?

The author of the article gives an excellent way to separate moments of motherhood. She uses Chronos time and Kairos time. This is an ancient Greek method to describe time. Chronos is the actual chronological time we are living at this moment. Kairos time signifies a time in between, a moment of indeterminate time in which something special happens; it is more qualitive by nature.

Chronos time right now involves my children fighting over who is using the last pink cup in the cupboard. The youngest is screaming at the top of her lungs while the twins hover the cup above their heads running around the kitchen. I have copious amount of studying, and I have to go to class tonight, and my head is pounding with a unrelenting headache.

Kairos time.....my youngest is working hard on a birthday card for her grandpa that she adores, her tongue is slightly out and to the side as she concentrates on her masterpiece. She carefully chooses each color with care and is debating whether glitter should be used.The twins are proudly displaying their report cards on the fridge because they struggle in math and they both received an A in math and that is a huge victory for them, their smile as they handed me their report card...priceless!

So when I encounter someone who says to enjoy this time and Carpe Diem the day, or I encounter those mothers who seem to relish in perfection of this motherhood thing...I just need to nod and say, I will.... and remind myself that I am the best mother that I can be......

And as the author eloquently tells herself  at the end of the article and now I need to tell myself:

Carpe a couple of Kairoses a day.

Good enough for me.

Random Saturday Thoughts

1). My definition of clean and my husbands definition of clean are very different.

2). Makenzie still does not know the difference between the twins, she just calls them sisters, I hope she figures it out sometime. Honestly I don't think she really cares to learn, they are just two people who live in her house and compete for my attention in her world.

3). I will start my 45 day strict diet and exercise regime Monday to prepare for my eating binge on my upcoming cruise

4). I will most likely gain back any weight I loose in my 45 day diet while on the cruise because of my buffet binging.

5). I did not have to buy one textbook this semester, a friend had all the books for me to use, this is huge.... this saves me money...and I like saving money....I need to repay her somehow???

6). My husband ate my last special mint buttercream cookie I got at the bakery...does he not know that I am beginning a strict diet Monday that does not allow such treats....I may not speak to him the rest of the night...you don't mess with my cookies!

7). My kids have been eating their weight in cuties (mini oranges found at supermarket)... they are addictive.

8). Is it okay to eat 10 deserts at buffet? ...because I probably will.

9). Must hit the tanning beds..legs are way to white for the Caribbean sun.

10). I have Real Housewives episodes on my DVR and I want to watch them but my kids are watching T.V......I am silently glaring at them...Don't they know I am 3 episodes behind... a lot can happen in 3 episodes...

11) I need help!

12).It is January 14th and I barely finished putting away my Christmas stuff today.

13). I have class tomorrow for my CNA...class on Sundays????....this is just inhumane treatment at this point.

14). My children think if they throw trash between the cushions in the couch and behind the couch I won't notice...I notice!!!

15). I am craving a mint buttercream cookie...oh wait...my husband ate it....

16). I have two weeks of laundry that needs to be folded yet all I can think about is watching Real Housewives...maybe if I tell the children to go fold laundry I can watch Real Housewives?

17). Makenzie is addicted to Mario Kart on the Nintendo DS..we may need to have an intervention?

18). I think  Chinese food is on the dinner menu tonight.....mmmmmmm..I am going to miss food for the next 45 days. So I will eat a few extra pot stickers tonight...sure would have been nice to have a mint buttercream cookie for dessert.

19). ....I am distracted now...the kids left the room...I am watching Real Housewives Beverly Hills....

20). ...dang it, I wanted that darn cookie!!!!

What Is On Your Bucket List?

As I approach the second half of my schooling...I am already making a list of some things I would like to do once I graduate. First, Lasik surgery for the eye's...second, a family trip with the kiddos...third, a trip for just me and the hubby. It may take a few years to cross these things off the list but it is a mini bucket list of things I would like to reward myself with after all our sacrifices and hard work over the last few years. Bucket List... upon my browsing of my admitted addiction, pinterest, I came across a website that posts potential things to put on a bucket list. So I have saved random ones here and there that make me smile and peak my interest. So here is my bucket list...of course everything is possible but obviously some things are more realistic than others...so, for fun here is a sample of my bucket list of very realistic and maybe not as realistic dreams.....but nonetheless if I can even do half of these things in my life I think that would be awesome!!

Lets see????...I got married YOUNG....like 18 young....so that means we could make it to those 60+ wedding anniversaries. Adrian will be deaf,  I will be blind, and we will both be senile. He will have his jazzy scooter, I will have my walker with tennis balls on the legs. I will yell at him to put in his teeth he will yell at me to take my meds.....I will still call him my pet name for him "Bubba" and one of us will say, "I love you" and the other will answer as we have always answered since we were young, "I love you more!"......this wish will always be number one on any of my bucket list!

Seriously who would not want to do this?

It is a dream....I love the ocean and to have a house by the ocean....wow, how amazing would that be!

Antarctica might be the toughest one to get to but wouldn't be awesome to say you have been to all seven!

Maybe when I am in Antarctica I can scratch this off the list?

I am not sure what fascinates me about this place so much but I want to see it someday.

 This requires me to be a size I like..... and .....an expensive clothing budget.....

Aahhhhhh!

As long as it is not a Paula Deen cookbook because the 400lbs of butter she uses in her recipes...well...my thighs could not handle that!

C'mon this would just be fun!

I WILL see this one day!

Checking this off my list in about 8 weeks!!!!!

Oh ya.....my luck.. that dart would land on Iran so I would have to make it best out of three.

Ya......no comment!

Okay I don't know if my pear shape would allow this..so lets say....skinnier!

After I get those "skinnier" legs and have seen the Sistine Chapel then it is time for some pizza!

Giving My Props To CNA's

In a weeks period I have done:

50 hours of classroom work
14 hours of commuting
16 hours of clinicals
= 80 hours

Why? I needed to renew my CNA license (certified nursing assistant) .....you have to have a current CNA license to apply for nursing school. I have done this class once but because I have not worked the required hours to keep it I had to renew it. Seriously if I don't get into nursing school and for some dumb reason I would have take this course again....well....lets just say I will find another career because I can't do this class again.

First of all the next time you visit a hospital, long term care center, emergency care, be nice to the CNA because they are the hardest working people there and do not get paid near enough for the job that they do.I worked as a CNA for awhile a couple years ago and my body ached at the end of every shift...it is a tough job!

The classes ...ugh CNA classes...it is slow and stupidly brutal...it is common sense taught over and over but some people are idiots... so though it seems like common sense... some people still struggle with it .

My first clinical was in Bountiful Saturday morning....I was up at 4am and had to drive in a snowstorm to get there, but me and my fellow CNA student and hopefully fellow nursing school student Leeann made it  there alive. It was a nice center but the amount of patients assigned to the few CNA's is overwhelming, it is amazing they get as much done as they do. I actually got to do a lot that day and learned some new things so I call that day a success. The second clinical was a center in Salt Lake....though the CNA's genuinely cared for their residents...there lack of handwashing and general cleanliness was not stellar....and honestly all I learned is what I would not do.

So let me add up the hours I still need to do
8 hours of a virtual course
8 hours of skills training course
2 hours CPR
150 question test that I need to pass
= me getting the voucher so I can take the state CNA test

State testing is knowing how take vitals....Which means I need to take things like a pulse and B.P. and my number needs to be within 2-4 points of their number and you have no idea who you are partnered with...they could have a difficult blood pressure or pulse to read. So basically I the novice needs to go in and have the same experience and skill that people who do this everyday and have them watching me nervously try to nail these vitals perfectly. Then they randomly pick five skills that you as a CNA should know and make you act out these skills precisely how they say they should be done. Then I also have to take a state written exam to go with it ......and what do CNA's make on average????  10 bucks an hour........INSANE!!!!!

So there is my life as a nursing student in a nutshell right now. I feel as though I should now pass on my observations and lessons I have learned this week:

1). Do not eat poop...apparently poop has lots of germs on it.
2). It is safer to lick a doorknob or lick someones arm pit than to french kiss someone.
3). When making a how to procedural medical videos they always seem to find the cute blonde as a patient to demonstrate perineal care on yet when it comes time to demonstrate it on a male, he inevitably will be 70 with age spots on his ass and the effects of gravity have taken a hold of everything...and you know what I mean when I say "everything!"
4). Gravity is cruel to both men and women as we age.
5). Old people are flatulent.
6). Old people make me smile.
7). Nurses have the best stories...especially if they have worked in the E.R.
8). Bed sores are possibly the nastiest thing to view repeatedly on video slides.
9). STD's are possibly the nastiest thing to view repeatedly on video slides.
10). When I become an R.N. I will spot out those good CNA's and treat them like a precious jewel!